i miss you

dos

and all i can taste is this moment,
and all i can breathe is your life.

R
-
the funeral. it's been a week since ms.kaspbrak has brought it to richies attention. he'd been thinking if he should go but is it bad he doesn't want to go? yeah eddie was his best friend but it doesn't feel right.

"richie, honey are you almost ready?"

richie looked towards his door to meet his moms dark blue eyes, "richie your not even dressed, what's wrong?" richie shook his head and stared at the ground, "i don't want to go." richie's mom frowned, "you have to richie, he was your best friend. he would want you to go." would he really? "he is my best friend. he's not dead." she closed her eyes and let out a deep breath, "i expect you to come to your best friends funeral. he would want you there."

richie sighed. he closed his door and went to grab his black button up and black slacks that his mother had ironed for him earlier. while putting them on he had teared up a bit. i don't cry. men don't fucking cry. stop crying you fucking pussy. he kept telling himself.

he grabbed the black tie, he didn't know how to put one on he remembered his dad had taught him but he forgot, and there's no way in hell he's going to call his dad in here when he's crying.

so out of frustration he threw the black tie on his bed and grabbed the black jacket. he brushed his hands in his messy knotted curls and grabbed his black long socks. he put on his fancy shoes and stood standing in the mirror. he looked a mess, but a hot mess.

"richie come on it's time to go!"

richie rolled his eyes but as he was about to get out of his room his eye spotted the blue inhaler on his night stand. should i bring it? he starred for a couple more minutes. "richard come on!" richie sighed and grabbed the inhaler, he walked down the steps of his house and his parents eyes were on him. "what's in your hand?" richie looked down and put the inhaler in his back pocket. "nothing."

the drive there wasn't bad. richie was listening to songs on his walkman and didn't pay attention to any of his parents conversations. "richie were here," richie looked at the window and saw the church in front of him. "this isn't the cemetery?"

"sonia wants him to be blessed, she also wants you and his friends bringing the casket in one of those big cars."

richie hummed. she hates us, so why use us? he got off the car and walked up the steps to the church. his parents were saying their sorrows but he just decided to go sit in the front near the casket. "hey richie.." as he looked up he met eyes with familiar blue eyes. "hey beverly." she winced at the emotionless in his voice. "have you seen the others?" richie shook his head.

he hadn't talked to the losers in a long time. they all ignored the fact that eddie went missing and richie couldn't hang around them if they didn't want to acknowledge it. and especially for bill not to acknowledge it, after his brother georgie had gone missing years ago made him upset because for the longest time that was what bill was always talking about.

as the church ended all the losers including beverly carried the light casket. they watched how the driver drove away with eddie, his eddie. "i always thought eddie would live longest out of all of us." bill sniffed. oh fucking shut up bill.

they drove to the cemetery and carried eddies casket above the whole that was dug. "did you guys bring your speeches?" they all nodded expect for richie, "i memorized mine."

surprisingly sonia gave her speech first, "edward kaspbrak was my son. i loved him so much but i always warned him not to go out, but he never listened. but i will always love my son. may he rest in piece." she cried. suck it sonia.

then came ben, mike, beverly, stanley, bill, and then it richie's turn. he swiped off the sweat from his hands on his pants. he walked up towards the microphone but he only stared at the casket.

"eddie kaspbrak is my best friend. i've known him since he was three, throughout the years he became such a beautiful soul. he taught me how to care for someone and he also taught me his doctor skills that i will always cherish." he smiled, "i've never met anyone that could compare to him, it was like he was a light of sun shine. when he was in a room all the attention would go to him because of how bright he shined. he's very loving and compassionate. he was just so breath taking in every way. when i was sad he'd cheer me up or when i had gotten hurt he'd heal me up. most nights we spent the night together we'd just talk and laugh, overall just enjoy each others company. eds is the best in everyway. he can be your friend, doctor, babysitter, basically anything anyone can be. i never understood why he was so nice and caring to everyone, i asked him why and he said; he just wanted to see people smile and that it's also important to treat someone how you want to be treated.

i never understood it and maybe i still don't but all i can say is eddie frank kaspbrak is still my favorite person i've ever laid eyes on. he doesn't deserve how people treat him or what he goes through. and i hope he still knows how amazing he is." he paused then made eye contact with sonia, "i will always love and care for eddie and i know he will do the same for me."

he expected people to call him names or yell but all he got were claps and sad smiles. but when his eyes met sonias he expected her to be upset but she was crying. was eddie really gone? eddies not dead. he thought. he got off the stage and was hugged by the losers.

"richie that was so beautiful." richie sadly smiled, "mhmm thanks." they all moved to get a flower for eddie, bev got eddie a marigold, bill got eddie a daisy, stanley got eddie a yellow tulip, mike got eddie a piece of lavender, ben got eddie pieces of babys breath, and richie got eddie a red rose.

one by one they all dropped their flowers into the casket, sonia was behind richie so richie saw her flower, it was a sunflower. "eddies allergic to sunflowers," she made eye contact with him. "oh i completely forgot. im sorry his whole death has been hard on me."

she walked past him, there's no way she would forget her son's allergies especially since she was always on his ass about them.

richie ignored the thought he went to stand with the losers but as time passed he saw sonia walk up to the man that he saw a week ago walk out of the kaspbrak household. it was strange that he was there. he knew that wasn't eddies doctor because he went with eddie to his doctor appointments so who was this strange man?