Doubts - Regretful ex-Fiancé

Chapter 02

"Please, Lily, please, call me, I am begging you. I am begging you to call me. I never asked you for anything."

I am sobbing and almost yelling on the phone at this point. "I am begging you now. If you have any love left for me, I am begging you to call me. My fiance... He saw you and thought it was me. I am begging will to come here. To help me explain. Please. Please. Please."

This is the 20th message I Ieft for her. With no answers. No contacts, nothing.

Almost everyday I try to call, desperately. I am trying so very hard not to break down. But just one month ago my engagement came to an end.

That day with Jonathan was the most horrible for me. And I am used to bad things. Most of my life till I completed eighteen was surrounded by horrible days. Running from the police, from drunks, from pervs, from molesters, was just routine. Hiding myself from my mom and her sick boyfriends were daily occurrences to me.

But having the man I loved so much treats me cruelly... It was the most shattering experience. I thought for once someone saw me for myself. But I was wrong. The words he uttered to me in anger... They were so wrong and so true at the same time. I really was a white trash. I couldn't escape this reality.

One week after the break up, I found a little place to move in. I didn't want to rent anything too nicely, even because I didn't know what the future was holding in storage for me. I had a good job and some money for emergencies, but my priority was to spend the little I could so I could have enough saved, in case something bad happened.

A single, alone woman needs to protect herself with her own resources. I have no man or family to look after me. It's just me now. Once again.

I love my fiance. I want the chance to prove to him I am not the piece of trash he thinks I am. He deserves to know he was not cheated on. I want to prove to him and to his family that, even if I was not honest about my family, I was not dishonest about my person. I was not a cheater and never would be.

Maybe this will make no difference in the outcome. But I will sleep better once everything is explained and Jonathan knows I am not a bad person. I need him to know this if nothing else. I imagine he is suffering too. He deserves to know the truth.

Right now I'm seated on my bed looking to the wall, not really seeing anything. I am crying, unable to control my tears.

I am remembering the day I've moved from the apartment. I really didn't want to talk with Jonathan but, in the end, I still had this little hope I would see him one more time.

Silly idea. He treated me with absolute coldness and indifference and told me his brother, Sam, would be in the apartament to help me. He ended the call without any goodbyes.

Beside my clothes, I was only taking a coffee machine I've brought and had a special affection for. But I was not taking anything more. I just needed my clothes and, as for the rest, I could get by without.

When Samuel arrived, I realized I've made a serious mistake. I should have left without announcements. He was looking at me with a murderous expression.

He rushed into the apartment with rudeness and inspected my things with pure disgust. He didn't even greet me but instead started to open my bags without even asking for permission.

"What are you doing?!" I questioned him with surprise.

"I am making sure you are not taking anything it is not yours." He answered with rage, tossing my clothes aside.

Oh my God!

"You have no right. No right at all. Stop it!"

He ignored me completely and continued with his rude remarks. "I never thought I would be saying this to you, but you sure did a number on us, didn't you? You fooled us pretty good, huh? I bet you were sleeping around with our friends too? Maybe I will find out soon enough. How much is your price, anyway?"

I couldn't believe my ears. This man always treated me so nicely, so kindly. And now he is saying this things to me, like I was the most promiscuous woman.

"Samuel, stop. Don't do this. Please. Please." I begged.

I could feel his rage. He seemed almost crazy. The way he was looking at me, it's like he could kill me with his bare hands.

"Shut your mouth. I don't have all day. I am doing this for my brother. If it was for me, you could have dropped dead already, bitch." He said with coldness.

"You can leave. Leave right now! I don't need your help! I am already leaving." I grab my coffee machine just to be violently pulled by Samuel, who starts to shake me rudely, without any care. He forcedly takes the machine from my hands.

"You are not taking anything with you! You little thief. You are not taking anything from my brother. Give me this ring right now."

"What? No...!"

"I will break your hand if you don't!" To prove his words, he started to squeeze my hand, making me cry out in pain. He was prepared to hurt me!

Jonathan asked him to do this to me?!

How much more do I need to suffer? How much more?

These painful memories will be forever engraved on my mind. The way Samuel behaved towards me... My God!

He forced me to give him my ring, coffee machine, my watch and any other things he thought was not mine. He squeezed my arm so hard, I felt it marked and sore through the next week.

I was experiencing the violence I thought was left in my past. My own brother in law, someone who protected me once, mistreating me!

How could he do this?

Suddenly, my phone starts to ring and I answer urgently, expecting it to be Lily:

"Hello! Lily! Is that you?" I say with hope and desperation.

"Who is this! Who are you, bitch? Why are you leaving these messages?" A male, rude voice shouts at me on the phone.

"I am calling for Lily. I need to talk to her! Who are you?" I question the person.

"Lily, huh? That bitch owns me. She is fucked up, do you hear? She is done. And anyone who is with her is done too. Do you hear me, bitch?"

What! How so...! What...!

"What do you mean? What are you talking about? Where is she?"

"She will be dead in no time. And you too if I see your face. Sister, huh? That's new. If I see you bitch, I will do a number on you too. Forget about your sister."

The man ends the call.

I am trembling so much I let my phone slip from my hands without realizing. I am terrified, absolutely terrified. I don't know what Lily did but I think it is really bad this time.

I've helped her many times in the past. It seems I need to do this once again. With dread, I prepare myself to travel.

I am going to the last address I have from her. And I am taking my gun with me.