Double or Nothing: One in a Million

The Biggest House On Campus

The road ascending the large mountain was rough with many turns, but the view from the plateau of the top made all the difference to the Stimpak Society members. The mountain itself, although shadowed by darkness and a burnt red cloud of smoke, was crystal clear for miles in every direction, spanning a distance that could take one as far as to the grand borders of the neighboring continents of Hell. The sky above, illuminated by the constant light of a bright and pale moon, was filled with stars and clouds of darker red.

The car rolled through the roundabout in the plaza, stopping in front of the largest doors the trio had ever witnessed. Shrap hopped away from his suitcase, rolling out onto the blacktop driveway before dusting off his sleeves and knees, tipping his cap toward the sky. "Whew! So this is the top of Hell, huh? What a view." Crow left the car from the other side, keeping his hand on the frame of the door as his goggles flashed in the crimson light of Pride far below. "Jesus," he whispered, swallowing back his fear. Wrench grumbled, leaping from the armored car with a groan.

He placed his mechanical wrist on the edge of the dented, damaged car frame, sliding his fingers over the surface. "You are a valiant one, soldatin. Your sacrifice vill not be forgotten so qvickly." Crow tipped off his hat, clipping his hat against his belt with crossed arms while his shoes clicked over the blacktop, approaching Shrap's right side. "Sure is nice, being at the top, I mean." Shrap lowered himself, grabbing his briefcase without breaking his gaze at the stained glass image of the fallen Angel above the doors. "Yeah. You said it."

The trio gathered around the car as the large steel doors slid open, pushing outward to the plaza. Standing at the center with wings outstretched and arms raised, the platinum King of Hell greeted his guests, tipping his large top hat with the edge of his scepter. "Ah, gentlemen! Welcome to Chateau Marianne! Please, get in here, acid rain comes quickly this time of day!" Shrap, Crow and Wrench shrugged to each other, stepping forward while Lucifer snapped his fingers, slamming the car doors shut and wheeling the damaged vehicle out of sight.

"I'll have my butler look after it. You remember Winfrey, I trust?" Crow rolled his sleeves back upon entering the large and overwhelmingly spacious foyer, fixing his collar. "How could I forget?" He muttered, recalling the blast of Hellish magic slapping him in the face during the ritual. Lucifer strode ahead of the group, crossing his white sleeves behind his folding wings. "Now gentlemen, despite your scrapped and delinquent status in Greed and Lust, you maintain courtesy and professionalism in running a multimillion underground business. I would trust, then, you show my home the same courtesy."

The house in question was large, possibly the biggest in the entirety of Hell. It had a grand total of four floors, each with varying purposes. There was a grand total of twenty bedrooms, ten bathrooms, two kitchens, three garages with several exits and entrances through opposing sides of the mountain, a game room, inner sanctum for rituals and spells, trophy and family history room, a vault with Angelic execution weaponry and the largest private library in all of Pride. It was only rivaled by Morpheus' pristine collection in Sloth. And now Shrap, Crow and Wrench could view it all without being targets of every Demon in Hell.

Wrench stepped ahead of the group, gesturing his reverted arm to Lucifer. "Of course, Sultan of Sin. Ve shall tend for your home as if it vere our own." Lucifer turned on one heel, his eyes narrowed at the tall fire poker of a Sinner, the unsettled Plague Infector and the desaturated Nazi engineer. His lip curled, although his eyes reflected a kind of patient happiness. "Very well. Your rooms are up those steps, "he gestured, "and down the Left Wing by three halls. My wife, Lillian, will escort you if she isn't preoccupied with our, ahem," he coughed, "child."

As Lucifer spun to his heels to face the group, Winfrey stepped into the room accompanied by two maids. "Ah, Lucifer, you've...returned..." he trailed off, his eyes switching from Shrap to Crow, then finally to Wrench and back another lap before returning to Lucifer. "My Lord? Why are these three-" "They are my guests, Winfrey. Treat them as you would me." Lucifer tapped the floor with his scepter before tossing it into the air, spinning before his gloved hands caught the rod.

"Well, I have some evening paperwork to finish up. Casual politics and business, as usual. You three make yourselves at home however you see fit. If, of course," Lucifer paused, crossing his arms and scepter behind his back, "that does not interfere with my house rules." Shrap nodded, bowing deeply to avoid the chandelier and show courtesy to the King of Hell. "Of course, Your Highness. We shall only take a few moments to take our, uh, things to our rooms." Lucifer winked, flashing a pearl white smile against his rosy cheeks. "Wonderful. Dinner's ready at five, hope you like grilled salmon! It's Lillian's favorite!"

Lucifer strode around the corner and vanished, whistling an eerie tune while Shrap stepped forward, swallowing before turning to Crow and Wrench. "Well fellas, I guess we'd better unpack. My suitcase has some stuff we can unload to keep in touch with the business back in Greed." Crow nodded, fixing his goggles. "Oh right. Man, poor Harley, just sitting there all by herself with nobody around. I kinda feel bad for her." Shrap crossed his arms, his emotionless mask firing rapid radio transmissions of energetic stature.

"Now Crow, don't you worry about Harley. I worked with her for four months, and I can confirm that she's the best one to lead the biz while we're away." Shrap and Wrench moved up the steps, leaving Crow to chuckle before stopping himself, goggles narrowed in a suspicious fashion. "Hey hold it, what do you mean by 'best one to lead'?" Shrap laughed, dashing up the steps as the Plague Infector charged after him, leaving Wrench to walk up the steps by himself, laughing at the sport.

Roughly one hour later, the group had been assembled in the Dining Hall, a large room with windows surrounding the space save for the back wall. There, surrounded by pillars and pedestals, a large white chimney carved out from the wall, the fiery mouth of a blazing ram opened to engulf its prey in flames. Its horns curled and twisted around the steps to a large, ornate throne atop the ballroom, where, in the tradition of the annual Crimson Ceremony, Lucifer would mount the throne and cast the land in powerful waves of Hellish magic.

Tonight, however, the throne lay silent, and the King of Hell resided at the head of his table, hands crossed over his food while gesturing to Shrap, Crow and Wrench. "We have a guest to wait on, I'm afraid. I never eat before everyone is gathered, you see." Crow nodded, seating himself at the end closest to Lucifer, opposite the floral chair he presumed belonged to Lillian. "That makes perfect sense to me, sir." As Crow sat himself down at the table, he was surprised to rest his hands on a fork, spoon and knife, as well as a glass of water and a rounded plate.

"Hmm. I thought there'd be more silverware. Y'know, like every other place I've visited." Crow muttered. The King of Hell did not let this slip by, clearing his throat. "Ah, yes. Y'know, Crow, I don't think I've ever met someone so determined to point that out. Well done." The Plague Infector shrunk into his chair, removing his hands from the clawed and jagged armrests of one he could only guess was Azazel. "Oh, I, uh-" "No no, it's alright," Lucifer chuckled, waving his hand to bring the Plague Infector back to a comfortable seating position.

"Truth is, I never understood why so many nobles and rich people use multiple sets of silverware. It's agonizing having to organize them, you only need one of each for the set, and it's otherwise ludicrous!" The King of Hell threw his hands in the air, collapsing into his chair when the doorbell rippled across the walls of the dining hall, ringing in everyone's ears. Lucifer sat forward, waving his hand with glowing gold particles. "Well, looks like our guest is joining us tonight. Or rather, guests, for that matter." Shrap crossed one set of his hands in front of the table, the other pair he folded behind his head.

"Ah! So this is the rich and mighty life. I could get used to this." The doors into the dining hall swept open, and into the hall slid a strange, parchment wrapped figure whom Crow, Shrap and Wrench had never met before.