Lovingly Yours -- Scaramouche

unsent 6

Dear Kuni,

Before I found out I had cancer, we were around a few days after the break up, and the worst part is that I was pregnant.

I'm worried it affected the baby but that's not a problem now, I was depressed for a long time, having to handle a miscarriage while having to manage cancer.

I was stuck in the hospital because I was pregnant, not because I had cancer, I was free to roam the outside world but I couldn't, the baby would be in danger if I was in danger.

But even after the precautions, our baby is gone. And I know it's your baby, I know he's yours, and yours only. I would never be with another, I was contented with you.

Remember the first night we met.. in the rainy day where we had no idea we were even going in the same school, I offered you my umbrella and you took it and left me soaked that day.

When we finally met in school, I knew it was fate, when I asked you for my umbrella but you never gave it back saying you lost it even though you really just wanted to keep it.

It's a moment in my life I won't ever forget, it was nice to be soaking wet since it was from you, but jokes aside, you can keep the umbrella.

Scaramouche, I've always loved you from the deepest bottom of my never ending heart. I could look up at the sky and think, why were we destined to be each other, and even if we were really destined.

But of course, who knows? I can't really tell, at this point of my life I feel like once I close my eyes for even a second longer I'll just throw everything away and disappear into this madness.

I lost the baby, which is depressing, I can't get over it but I can't let it take over me, the one thing I have of you, is gone. I'm battling cancer, which makes everything way harder.

I have everyone by my side, Kaeya, you, Xiao, Ningguang, Beidou, Zhongli, and so many more people.. there's so many that I don't wanna let down, especially you.

I already did didn't I? At first I wanted to send you this letter, but when the time comes, you'll reach this letter and read it from the bottom of your heart, cause I know I'm still inside that heart while it beats.

I can't lie, I know you still at least love me, or do you not? I want you to keep on loving me but it's your choice, I'm lovingly yours and I always will be, but I don't know if you'll be mine forever.

Once the time comes and you see this, I hope you know that I love you, and I always have.

With utmost love
-Y/N