Clean Bowled

2

"BCCI excluded Shreyas Iyer and Ishan Kishan from list of centrally contracted players for not playing in Ranji Trophy. KL Rahul, Shubman Gill, and Mohammed Siraj promoted. Rishabh Pant in Grade B. Hardik Pandya retained despite injury."

The entire team sat in silence as the TV in the dressing room played this news. Ishan and Shreyas froze in their places. The others - too shocked to react. Quickly acting on his reflexes, Virat nudged Rohit and they hugged the boys close to themselves. Shreyas, not being a fan of physical affection, slightly recoiled from Rohit's hug and moved out of the room still in a state of shock. Meanwhile Ishan was too overwhelmed to take in his surroundings. As soon as he felt Virat's arms around him, he forced a smile and cracked a joke 

"Arre sab aise kyun dekh rahe ho jaise mujhe humesha ke liye sack kar diya ho?Accha hua atleast iss time pe apne skills pe zyada focus kr paunga, home tournaments bhi khelunga aur sath mein IPL toh hai hi"

He fooled everyone into thinking he's fine, only to sob miserably under the shower. Well he thought he convinced everyone, but much to his inconvenience this time, Shubman read Ishan like he's the only language known to him. He knew Ishan wasn't okay, yet he remained quiet giving him space.

.................

"Ishan... t..tu thik hai?"

"Haan meri jaan, mujhe kya hona hai?"

"Mazak nahi kar raha hoon main, serious hoon"

"Mayank yaar, yeh sab hota rehta hai, I am fine. Chal I'll call you back after sometime"

Ishan attented the nth phone call for the day, from his family and friends and convinced them into believing he's fine. He sat by the balcony of his apartment, basking in the sunset, and finally let himself feel. Hours passed, he simply stared at the vast skyline and thought about everything - starting from the day he held a cricket bat ; till today. The feeling of misery and uselessness gnawed him. Growing up in a humble family, where education and desk jobs meant everything ; he dared - dared to dream. His parents and brother have been his anchor throughout. He would probably never be able to repay them for what they've done for him. His father overworked just so that he could get into the best cricket academy of the town, his brother gave up on his dream and stepped up to take the family's responsibilities just so that he could follow his passion without having to look back, his mother cut out on all random expenses and got him the best food options available so that he wouldn't fall short of energy. And despite all these, they never once complained, never made him feel like, they're doing something for him. Even today when he was stripped off his achievements, positions, respect - everything. The media did a post mortem of his respect, dignity - everything. Despite everything, his family had not once blamed him or asked him why he opted to not play domestic back then, they simply supported him and soothed him with their words. He felt like a looser, a cheater who cheated on his family, they didn't this. They deserved better. Oh what had he even done to find a family like this! Eyes full of tears, the 'ever so jolly, funny' facade he put up always, now on rest ; he let himself feel the heartbreak.

Just as he was about to wipe his tears, he stopped. He let them fall. His mind replayed the incidents from the morning like a broken record. He couldn't be thankful enough for the people he was surrounded with. His Ro bhaiyya, Vi bhaiyya, SKY bhaiyya, Harry bhaiyya, Jassi, Rahul, Siri, Yuzi, Rish stood by him - ready to fight the world for him. He moved out of the team hotel with his stuffs as soon as the news dropped, for he loved his brothers and he knew noone had the power to remove him from there in their presence but to him, his self respect meant more than anything. And how could he even forget his Shubi? That man who understood him like he was the easiest equation in the world. He remembered how Shubman just hugged him and said "Tujhe space chahiye, tu le. But I promise Ishan, I'll be there by you. Always. Main hoon tere sath. Humesha."  And that, kid you not were the most comforting words ever. How did he become so lucky to be surrounded by people like them?

...........

After a long shower, he looked at himself in the mirror. A feeling of despodency filled his heart. Did he have no identity of his own? Will he always be this 'replacable' ? Will he have no other identity in the society except for being Mr Kishan's son and Dr Raj's younger brother? Will the country never know him for his talent? Will he always remain under the image of someone's bestfriend, someone's favourite kiddo, the team's cutest and funniest member? Was that all? The worst of all.... was his career over?

Not being able to think anymore, he laid on the bed with a numb heart. Staring at the ceiling, he felt hours passing bye. For the first time in the entire day, he regretted leaving the team residency. If he would've been there, his Shubie would never let him have these thoughts! Just as he started to overthink again, his phone started vibrating. Picking it up from the bed stand nearby, he opened the chat to see Shubman has sent him a few voice notes.

Frowning, he opened them one by one only to smile to himself for the first time in the entire day.

"Tu jo rootha, toh kaun hasega? Tu jo choota toh kaun rahega? Tu chup hai toh yeh darr lagta hai, apna mujhko ab kaun kahega? Tu hi wajah, tere bina bewajah bekaar hoon main. tera yaar hoon main" Shubman sang in his deep undertone with no sense of melody whatsoever, but to Ishan it sounded like a Grammy worthy performance!

"Overthink matt kar, so jaa chup chap. Tere liye maine tera favourite gaana bhi gaa diya, ab toh hass de yaara"

Ishan started recording himself as he held the phone close to his lips and whispered in a genuine voice "I love you meri jaan". Only if he knew what that did to Shubman's heart !