I'm sleeping on my boyfriend's couch laying on my stomach. My mind plays an unfortunate flashback of an earlier interaction.
Flashback to earlier in the day
I'm pushing against the bathroom door as Robin pushes his body weight roughly to the other side.
"Please stop, Robin! He is just my friend... I love you!"I yell through tears as I struggle to keep the door from opening
"Don't fucking lie to me, bitch! Let me in my bathroom." He yells pushing his body against the door.
"Please just leave me alone!" I begged and cried hysterically on the other side of the door, losing the strength I needed to hold the door shut. He usually only got angry when he was drinking. I have never seen him this jealous and aggressive.
This all started when we were eating breakfast together. My phone buzzed on the table with a text from a group chat I'm in "Do you need a drive out to the cabin this weekend, Kels?" it read. The name "James" hung above the text. Robin read it before I could even grab my phone and it was downhill from there. He started asking me questions. He knew about my mostly guy friend group before we started dating and he had even met some of them before and then had this exact fight but it never escalated this much. His questions started coming and with every one I answered he had ten more to follow. He slowly grew louder and angrier, and eventually, he was standing over me. I walked away to try and diffuse the situation and get the air but he followed me, ending with me holding my body against the bathroom door and him pushing to get in.
Robin finally managed to push his way into the bathroom causing me to fall back onto the floor. He stormed into the bathroom and grabbed me by my hair, pulling me off the floor.
"How many times do we have to have this fight, Kelsey?He screamed in my face. I was horrified, he had never grabbed me this aggressively before.
"I've known him forever, he's like my brother! You can read our fucking texts!" I yelled back through tears trying to reason with him.
" Don't be fucking stupid Kelsey. No guy wants to be friends with you. You're only good for one thing, you got that?"
Those words were a slap in the face. I felt my eyes fill with tears as they continued to stream down my cheeks. He tightened his grip on my hair and moved my head so I was looking up towards him.
"Did you hear me?! Answer me now." He grew louder.
"Yes, I got it, I understand... please just let me go. You're hurting me"I managed through tears. Robin held his grip for a bit longer staring down into my eyes. I was terrified. We had fights before and it's not the first time he laid hands on me but this time was different. It was pure hate in his eyes as he looked into my eyes. He looked ready to hurt me more then he loosened his grip slightly.
"Fuck I don't even know why I try. You aren't even worth it." He spits out. He threw me face down onto the bathroom floor causing my nose to start to bleed. He noticed the blood dripping on the floor. I felt a sharp pain below my ribcage as he kicked his foot into my side.
"Clean that up" He walked out the door leaving me in a pile crying on the floor.
Present
My eyes blink open and I recall the memories of earlier in the day. It was dark outside but I could see that Robins's car was missing from the driveway. My phone read "12:45 am" and there were two text notifications. One was the same unanswered text from James and the other from Robin, "Sorry baby, I overreacted. You know I'll make it up to you xx" I stare down at the text for a minute before shoving my phone in my pocket. I get up off the couch and make my way to the bathroom. Looking at myself in the mirror, my cheeks were stained with tears, my eyes red and puffy and dried blood was around my nose. I cleaned my face in the sink and then wiped my blood off the floor. I run the shower and start undressing. I step into the hot shower and close my eyes, letting the water run over my body. I hear the front door swing open not long after. I can hear Robin stumbling through the house. I already know he's drunk before he makes it to the bathroom door.
"Hey, I'm home baby" He slurred and stumbled over his words as he pushed open the bathroom door and started to undress. "Can I join you?" he puts on a loving voice.
"I'm almost done, you can get in after" I respond, obviously still upset from before.
He pulled the shower curtain back, "Hey, I said I'm sorry" he slurred and tried climbing into the shower, slipping and tripping backwards catching himself on the wall.
"Babe, you're drunk, I just want to go to bed," I say trying to push past him and grab my towel. He wrapped his hand around my waist and started kissing my neck.
"Come on baby, I'm sorry. I want you one more time before I go" He said into my neck. He was leaving for 3 months tomorrow, going to fight overseas in the army. I didn't want to give in right now after this morning but I knew it was our last chance before he left and I shouldn't let one thing ruin our last night together.
"You know you want it" The smell of alcohol was strong on his breath. I gave in as he grabbed me by my waist and pushed me up against the counter.
