✏️ Under One Roof

34. One Solution

Theo wasn't in Bentdick's, but she was easily visible walking along the upper spine between Geography and Hibiki Park. Tegan saw her from a higher walkway, and ran over as quickly as she could. When she got down to the other level, it took her a few seconds to see which way her friend had gone, but it still wasn't a big problem. It was never hard to find Theo on campus for some reason.

"Hey!" Theo answered, when she heard her name. "What's up?"

And that left Tegan with the bigger problem. She had no idea how she was going to explain her situation without embarrassing herself. She had kept on telling herself that she could think about that part later, but now she was on the spot and she still didn't have the first clue what she was going to say.

"Umm..." she stammered. "There's something I hoped you could help me with. But it's kind of weird, and... You're going to think I'm some kind of freak or something. It's like... I don't know who I can tell about any of this, it's just so messed up, and..."

"Tegan," Theo said, stepping closer and opening her arms just a little, as if to say a hug was on offer if Tegan felt that would help. And this time, Tegan decided that there was nothing to be gained by standing on her pride. She needed help now; she needed a friend. She didn't even think, until she was holding onto her best friend and starting to sob, that she'd never really had a clear conclusion to the speculation that Theo might be attracted to her. And here and now, she realised that it really didn't matter. She just needed some kind of support. Some way to know that she wasn't facing all these problems alone, even if she didn't know how to even start talking about them.

"I'm sorry," she said, all the feelings of humiliation from the previous weeks surging back in a tidal wave now she knew that she might have some kind of solution. "It's crazy, I know. But I saw all your books, and I thought you mentioned it before. But I have to ask you..."

She couldn't say any more. It was just too much, and she didn't know if she would ever be able to admit her current problem. But maybe she could at least ask the question.

"Would it be easier if we go to Bentdick's?" Theo asked. "We can talk over a milkshake, that always makes it easier." Tegan knew that sounded good, but she was also sure that she didn't dare say anything about this when there might be other people to overhear them.

"It's kind of..." she said, and then instinctively glanced around to look over her shoulder. Which was kind of silly, when she wasn't even able to share her plight anyway.

"Private?" Theo guessed. "Back to my place, then. I've got nearly an hour before my first talking session. I'm sure the others won't miss us if we're not around the café. And if you're feeling fragile, I'll buy ice cream to cheer us up after. Okay?"

It barely took any time to get back to Theo's little apartment. For a second Tegan worried that her flatmate would be there; but then, Britney was the perky goth barista, wasn't she? She'd still be at work, only a handful of hours after they had last talked. There was no reason for Tegan to worry, but still, she thought she had never been so nervous. Theo led the way through to her room, anyway, and Tegan wasn't surprised to learn that it was as packed with stuff as the lounge. She felt a little shiver of nervousness as she crossed the threshold, but she knew that this was something she needed to do if she wanted to escape from the insidious torment her brother had chosen for her.

"Okay," she said nervously, taking the office chair after Theo perched on the edge of the bed. "I... heh, guess I imagined I'd be the one lying down."

"Oh?" Theo raised an eyebrow. And then she couldn't hold back a little chuckle. "Sorry, I shouldn't laugh. But when you said you need help, I think that's the last thing I would have thought of. Maybe we should talk a little first?"