𝐁𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐇𝐞𝐫

02

—September 21, 2005

I remember that night like it was yesterday, probably because it's engraved in my mind.
Me and Grace were in the way back home, after we spent the entire day in the new big park.

It was a warm summer night. Everything was so peaceful and perfect. The breeze played with her hair, moving it from side to side.
The streets were quite, and just a small amount of people was walking outside, admiring this beautiful night, and the feelings he brought.

"Thank you." I opened her popsicle's wrap,
Every day me and Grace walked like that,
we lived a few minutes away from each other.

I walked her to the front door every day.
Sometimes i was coming in, and we would watch a movie, or cooking something to eat.

"The park is great, right?" She asked as taking the first bite of her popsicle. Grace loved those kinds of days, but she acted weird in that one.
Like she's keeping something inside.

I noticed she looked stressed, like I've never seen her before. She had so much fun that day, i wasn't able to put my finger on what happened.

"That was sick, what Jonny told that ninth grader, isn't it?" I laughed in attempt to make her feel better, but she just smiled and looked the same. Like something is bothering her.

We made the turn to her house, in every step we took and got closer to her house, she seemed less comfortable. Like she didn't want to go home.

"Let's sit down for a bit." She insisted to sit down,
We're always taking a few more minutes, but her eyes was telling me something's off.

The good feeling i had got replaced with anxiety.
We sat on the sidewalk, a few steps away from her front door. She was looking at the moon,
her eyes were shining. She looked like some kind of angel. We were twelve and she was way prettier than older girls i knew, and still know.

I couldn't wait for something to happen, for her to tell me something silly, like a fight she got into with some girl, and that's what it all about.

"How was the test? In math?" She didn't faced me. She tried to escape from talking about what really happened. She started to scared me.
"We cheated and did it together, what's going on with you?" I glanced over her with worry.

She was never that quiet, that meant something.
"Yeah, I'm fine." She smiled at me, i could tell she was faking. She's never smiling without teeth.

"You're freaking me out." I admitted,
"I just- i hope you know that i-" she stopped talking again. Grace was always the one that don't open up in front of people. I was the closest to her, and i can count on one hand how many times i saw her crying in my entire life.

"You know that i love you, right?" Her cheeks turned red, and i could feel she's having a hard time talking like that. It felt like someone forced her to say that, that was unexpected to hear that.

"Well, yeah, of course." I thought it was some kind of prank. I didn't took her words seriously.
"Good." She stared at the floor with empty eyes,
I couldn't stand that feeling, i felt that she's hiding something from me.

"I'm really tired," She used my shoulder to get up, her movements were so delicate, everything in her behavior indicated that something is off.

That something's about to happen, and i need to do something. But i felt like I'm just being paranoid, what can possibly happen? I thought.

"But you're okay, right?" I asked before she turned around, the frightening gut feeling got louder, and my leg started to shake.

"Yeah." She smiled this fake smile again, tried to calm me down. Her hands were hiding in her pockets, her whole body was close.

"Bye Mason." She glanced at me one more time,
And I'm not sure why i felt my throat closing up.
"We'll see each other in school tomorrow, yeah?" I needed her to promise me, i refused to listen my feelings, and her weird behavior.

"Grace," I called her again, she didn't answered.

She got in and closed the door behind her.
I stood there for five more minutes, waiting for her to come outside and act as always.

She didn't, and that was the last time i saw her for the last five years. That night was the last time I talked to her, and that night is also the dream i keep dreaming of once in a while.

The thoughts and regrets i took from that night's still in my head, and every day I think of what i could've done differently, or how i should've act for that not to happen. I'm trying to get it out of my head, but i cant.

"It's not your fault, Mason." Everyone's telling me, but i can't stop thinking that I'm a part of it, even if I didn't do anything.

That night broke something inside me, and right, she's here again, but that is the last memory I have from her, and it will never be forgotten.