Not Even Death Can Keep Us Apart

Chapter Thirty Two: Birthday Party, 118 Style

"It has come to my attention.. I don't think we did it right Chris.. what do you think?" Buck said as he stared at the batter in the bowl while tilting his head. Chris peaked into the bowl of batter before he burst into a fit of laughter.

"Yeah I didn't think so," Buck said. At this point, both boys were covered in flour from head to toe. Buck had some of the actual batter smeared across his cheek, while Chris somehow managed to get flour even in his hair.

"I thought you said you knew what you were doing!!" Buck teased Chris.

"You're the grown up papa.. well sort of," Chris sassed back. Buck scoffed and laughed.

"Touche," Buck said as he looked into the batter mixture. He sighed, and set it in the sink.

"Hey Buck," Chris started, his voice was soft and small. Buck instantly turned around and looked at Chris, putting the new empty bowl on the counter.

"Yes bud?" Buck asked. He watched as Chris fought his emotions, watching as each emotion displayed across his face as he fought himself. Chris sighed and looked up at Buck, and the look on his face instantly broke Buck's heart. He was heartbroken.

"In English class today, we read a poem today..." Chris started. Buck's mind raced, because what kind of poem caused a kid this much emotion and pain. Then it hit him like a ton of bricks, and Buck dropped down to Chris' level. Mother's Day was right around the corner. He looked at Chris before wrapping his arms around his little body tightly. After a few moments, Chris released Buck and wiped his eyes.

"Want to talk about it Superman?" Buck asked softly as he looked at Chris.

"I miss her Buck, and I don't know how to feel exactly. Part of me is mad, and I shouldn't be mad.. but she left!" Chris expressed.

"Chris... she didn't just leave, she died..." Buck said super softly.

"Before she died, she just left.. and it hurts.. why didn't she want to stay around? Was it because of me?" Chris asked.

"Oh Christopher, no one ever leaves because of you, you are the most sweetest boy I have ever met. You are stronger than I could ever be, that it amazes me how much you can smile through. Sometimes, grown ups have their own problems and sometimes they don't realize how much it affects the ones around them, especially the little ones. And it is okay to be upset and, yes even mad at them. It is even okay to not know how to feel, but choose to remember the happy times you did have with her. Because I remember you telling me how much happiness her coming home for Christmas was. Hang on to this memories, and remember that sometimes people leave and it hurts. It isn't because of you kiddo, it's because sometimes adults have problems far beyond our understanding," Buck said softly.

Buck and Chris were silent for what felt like forever, but embracing each other again until Chris was ready to let go.

"Hey papa?" Chris said softly.

"Yes superman?" Buck replied.

"I love you, thank you for always being here for me," Chris said softly before nuzzling him into Buck's neck.

"I love you too Christopher. I always will be," Buck said softly.

"Let's finish Ophelia's cake!" Chris said excitedly, feeling as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. It was even visible enough for Buck to see. He smiled and stood back up, helping Chris back onto his stool. They had to start from scratch. Buck was teaching Chris the best way to whisk batter, before handing over the whisk to Chris. As if they couldn't get more flour on them, they definitely managed to. Flour was on the floor now too, and without realizing Buck and Chris made their own footprints in the flour.