And I Was In Love. (Finnick Odair X Y/N)

Because I loved her

The lights from cameras flashed as I smiled fakely, waving to the crowds around me. My feet quickly stepped onto the floor of the train, and my body moved through the doorway. Shuffling quickly, I made my way over to the window and wave at the people. The fans. My fans. My sick, horribly twisted fans.
'It's about appearances,' I tell myself. 'Just a few more minutes.'

Eventually, after what felt like 3 hours of waving and forcing a smile, we're out of the Capitol. Closing my tried eyes, I rolled my body back against the wall and rubbed my aching cheeks. God, the amount of muscles used to smile.

-

The air was thick, and the room dark, only illuminated by the faint glow of the TV. My knees and chest pressed against the soft silk pillow, and I wrapped my arms around it tightly.

With a quick movement, my hand reached the remote, and I turned the TV off. I couldn't look at it any longer.

I'd been flicking through the endless number of channels for at least half an hour, but everything was talking about the games. About me. About Grey. I couldn't escape it. Like I was trapped in a box, and I couldn't breathe. There were images of me, half naked. Images of the games. Images of the kids I killed. Images of Chrys. Images of Grey, his wrist slit and his throat with blood po-

Hot, disgusting bile crept up my throat. Before it could reach my mouth, I swallowed it down again. With tears in my eyes, I let my head flop forward and onto the soft pillow. It was all too much. Everything that had happened. I couldn't even see the bright side. Finnick, Cory. It should've been Grey who lived.

Knock. Knock.
It was the door. I didn't respond. Maybe if they thought I was asleep, they'd go away.

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Finnick POV

I knew it would take her time to work through everything. I knew better than anyone on this bloody train. I didn't want to bother her, but before I knew it, I was at Y/Ns door with my hand raised, ready to knock. A sigh escaped my mouth. 'Is this the right thing to do?' Before I could decide, I'd knocked.

There was no answer.
But I knew she was awake.

I pressed a button, and the door beeped open. The room was dark, but with the light from the door flooding in, I could see the girls outline as she sat, scrunched up on the bed. Her head was buried into her knees. Or maybe a pillow? Her hair was messy, and her clothes were baggy.

Taking a few steps in, I closed the door and walked over to the bed. Placing myself down, I scurried over and led back on the bedhead next to her.

Without words, the girl leaned her head on my shoulder and into the crook between my neck. My arm snaked around her waist and pulled her closer. Y/N snuggled into me further. She wasn't crying, but I knew she was upset. Sad beyond words. Too much so to cry or speak.

"It's ok," was all I said as I started rubbing her back. My other hand tucked some hair behind her ear. Her eyes darted to mine for a second. Even in the dim light, I could see the glossiness of her eyes laced in tears. Quickly, the girl placed her head back where it was and let out a long, deep breath.

I don't know how long I was there until she fell asleep. I could tell by the slow rise and fall of her chest. And the peaceful look on her pretty face. Somehow, I'd managed to place her heavy head onto a pillow and sneak out of the room. I prepared some food on a plate and some water in a cup before making my way back to her room.

The girl looked as if she were still peacefully sleeping. I could see the rise and fall of her chest under the covers.

"Hey," she murmured, rolling over.

"Did I wake you up?" I asked apologetically, placing the plate and cup on the bedside table.

The girl hesitated but didn't say anything. She lifted herself off the bed, letting the covers fall. I backed up, flicking the lights on. They were still dim, but you could see.

"Is this for me?" Y/N asked, pointing at the food as she rubbed her tired, beautiful eyes.

"Yeah," I answered, walking closer again before sitting on the bed across from her. My eyes followed her hands as they reached for the plate and then the food. "How you holding up?" I finally broke the silence.

Y/N hesitated for a moment, still chewing the food. "I'm alright," she finally shrugged.

"You know you can tell me the truth."

She sighed, "it's like every time I close my eyes, I see the other tributes... Yvette..." her voice started to quiver, "Chrys... Grey."

A single tear started rolling down her cheek. Before her hand could brush it away, I cupped her face and whipped it away with my thumb.

"Does- does it ever stop..?" She asked, trying to stop the shaking in her voice.

I wanted to lie. To tell her the memories fade and eventually go away. Lie and tell her that I never feel like I'm back there. But I couldn't.

"No," I finally admitted, "they never really go away."

"Oh," was all the girl managed to say.

"It's ok. I'll be here for you," I flashed her a promising smile.

She smiled back. It was nice to see her smile. A smile that made my insides warm and nervous.

"Just two broken people looking out for each other," she leaned in closer.

Automatically, I leaned in too and out foreheads rested against each other. I breathed in her sweet, calming smell and let the blush creep up my neck and onto my cheeks. My hand was still lingering on her warm, soft cheek. I swallowed down the nerves, but it didn't work.

Before I knew it, she had leaned in more, and our lips were dancing together. Her hand was brushing through my hair. My hands cupped her face. My heart was beating so loud.

We'd done this before. I'd been so confident on the outside. We were kissing again. Inside, I was so unsure if she ever liked me. Our bodies were so in sync. I was so unsure if she'd like me after the games. She kissed me.

My lung screamed for air when we reluctantly pulled away. I didn't take my eyes off her beautiful smile as I caught my breath. Our eyes met, and my lips curled into a big smile. I couldn't help it because...

Because I loved her.

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Sorry it took so long to get this one out.

Also, I changed the writing style do you like this more? I can change back if you like the other one more juts lemme know whatcha think.

Again, thanks for reading <3