In your twenty-third year, the string of your life was cut short.
The ground opened up beneath our feet, but only you were stolen away.
I stood there, staring at the emptiness in that crevice.
It punctured a hole into my teeny-tiny heart.
Growing up terrified us. Now I have to fear it alone.
I see the first tinges of snow to my hair, my hands
Start to shake. I only want you, here and breathing,
To cure the anxiety. Absolve me of this guilt.
When I have that family we dreamed of,
Soft children of youth and sweetness running around my house.
I'll think of that splintered corner of my heart you left.
Every time my mind breathes your name, will I come running to push you out?
No. At night, when I settle into the silence beside my partner,
A sweet man who I cannot picture whatsoever,
I know that I will search for you then.
I thought I locked you away from my life, but now I know the truth.
Really, I locked myself into the bright room that you left ajar.
I step into the Narnia of that happy spring,
Because that is the only place where I'll find you again.
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Never In Spring ✓
PoetryAlways winter, never in spring, but she'll wait a thousand lifetimes for him. A personal account of a bitter, heartbroken lover's descent as she grows, watching her blooming love wither into nothing. Love poetry anthology. © elle sonder 2024
