My heart's despairs

reborn

When I woke up, I was reborn - back to being a 12-year-old. I screamed and shouted, "Why, God, why? Why didn't you let me die instead of giving me this life again? No, no, I don't want to live! Ahhhh, awwwww!"

Then, a person entered the room - my personal maid, Lily. "Princess Aria, what happened? Why are you crying, Princess? Tell me." But I was in shock, unable to listen, and continued crying for two days. I refused to eat, and my fever soared. Not a single family member came to see me, leaving me feeling angry and miserable. I argued with myself and God, wondering why I was reborn. I begged my maids, "Please kill me, let me die! I don't want to live!"

After some days, my two older brothers, Crown Prince Leon and Second Prince Reynold, arrived. Instead of asking how I was doing, they said, "What kind of drama are you creating? Stop this foolishness, Aria. We'll pity you, but don't forget what you did." Leon shouted at Reynold, "Stop it!" and then said to me, "Why are you doing this, Aria? Can't you act like a proper princess for once"?

I sat by my window, silent, until Leon grabbed my arm and demanded, "Say something, goddammit! Can't you listen to me? Answer me right now, Aria Belier! Why the hell are you acting like this?" I glanced at him and burst into laughter.

Raynold chimed in, "Brother, she's gone insane. I mean, she was always a bit eccentric, but this time she's properly lost her mind." I locked eyes with him and said, "Can't you see why I'm acting like this? It's because of all of you. You've all destroyed me. Do you want me to be a doll again?"

Raynold and Leon exchanged confused glances, saying in unison, "What do you mean by that?" I smiled sweetly and replied, "Just get out of here and leave me alone." Leon suggested, "I think I need to change your etiquette teacher." I shot back, "Why wasn't it enough for you that Lady Granite tortured me? Now you want a new one who can torture me even more? Tell me, Crown Prince."

Leon's expression changed, and he said, "What the hell are you saying, Aria? When did I ever order anyone to torture you?" I retorted, "Will you drop the act, Crown Prince? I know my place, so please stop pretending and just kill me."

Leon called the maid and said, "Let her rest. Call the doctor." Both of them left, and I closed my eyes, tears falling from my closed lids. I knew why they hated me - they all blamed me for my mother's death. She died while giving birth to me. In my previous life, everyone blamed me, and now, in this new life, they still did. My father, the Emperor, never held me, never loved me, never looked at me with a smile. My brothers, one born with the power of light spirit and the other with dark spirit magic, would say, "You're useless." But I had awakened my powers at 14 - the power of the four elements and both dark and light spirits. I hid it, though, because the Crown Princess, Leon's fiancée ,Saga, warned me, "If you tell them about your power, we don't know what they'll do to you." I was scared, so I hid it and never learned how to control it. In the end, my powers became uncontrollable. I thought they were my enemy, but I was wrong. She was just deceiving me; she knew that if they found out about my powers, the throne would be mine, and she'd lose her title as Crown Princess. All she wanted was to become Empress. She blamed me for hiding my magic, and I tried to kill her. My own father locked me in the dungeon and ordered the knights to cut off my head for betraying them. I received the punishment for a crime I never committed.