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LXXXIII

“Cole! Have you seen Eddy?”
Cole just so managed to catch a disheveled Brett hurtling towards him in the midst of hundreds of people slowly exiting the con building.
“Eddy? No, I was kinda busy looking for you, mate! What the hell? Everyone's looking for you! Why did you just-”
“Have you seen his mum? He must be with his mum, no?”
He had to be!
“How am I supposed to know what his mum looks like? I'm not the one who had dinner with her.”
“Shit!”, Brett hissed, lifted up his head like a meerkat in order to scan the sea of people. 
“Did you run after him? That why you just left like you’ve seen the devil?”
“I need to find him! Help me?” Brett was well aware that he was begging but he didn’t care. He would fall on his knees if it would make Eddy appear in front of him.
Cole hesitated only for a second before nodding at Brett and squeezing his shoulders. 
“You go right, I go left! Do you have your phone with you?”
Brett shook his head. He’d left it for the concert in his dressing room with his violin case so it wouldn’t go off while he was playing.
“Then let’s meet here in around ten, fifteen, alright? Good luck!” 
With that said, Brett’s great friend wriggled through the crowd and vanished. Brett breathed in deeply and sped towards the opposite direction, hoping and praying half silently he’d spot his most favourite mop of hair somewhere in the mass. 

People left and right bumped into him. Some recognized him and started to congratulate him without being able to finish a word before Brett hurried away again, eyes feverishly swishing from one side to another. Had they already left? Did they go to Eddy’s dorm? He scrambled his brain for any useful information which might have been said during dinner. Mrs. Chen was probably not going home since it took a two hours drive to get to Newcastle alone. Was she staying at a hotel? There was no space in Eddy’s room, but maybe they had guest bedrooms?

“Brett!”
“Angelica! Have you seen-”
“Congrats, mate! We're all looking for you! Let’s go celebrate?”
Celebrate. Celebrate. Oh, yeah, right. He’d just won a competition. What if that was the reason Eddy was avoiding him? He’d stated that he’d be okay with Brett winning, but what if that wasn’t the case after all?
“I need to find Eddy!”
“Eddy?”, she frowned, “I don’t think I’ve seen him after he went off stage. Why? Is everything okay?”
“I don’t…” Brett shook his head violently. “I don’t know. I need to find him!”
He didn’t waste any time waiting for her answer and dashed away, leaving a confused french horn player behind. 

It was impossible to make out anyone among the crowd and the likeliness of Brett finding Eddy was getting slimmer and slimmer. He might have accompanied his mum back to the hotel already for all Brett knew and he had absolutely no idea in which direction they might have gone. However, giving up was no option. Even if that meant running around like a headless chicken all night, it was better than diving head first into the black hole filled with despair that was awaiting him. Brett took off his blazer as he sprinted up some stairs leading him to an upper platform where he hoped to have a better view. He wiped the pearls of sweat off his forehead and stepped to the border of the floor, his gaze scanning the ground beneath when suddenly, someone called his name. 

“Oh, Brett! How lovely!”
Brett stilled and so did his breathing. He whirled around and there they stood, on the other side of the platform, Mrs. Chen already walking towards him with a pleased expression but it wasn’t her Brett was looking at. 

For a second, Eddy looked like lightning had struck him and he’d seen the holiness of God with his own eyes. Brett gulped, all the words he'd wanted to ask, wanted to say gone. It was almost grotesque having Eddy’s mother beaming at him with her son standing in the back, turning into ice again.

“Brett! Congratulations! You played exceptionally well and your victory is truly well deserved!” She took both his hands and shook them.
“Tha… thanks, Mrs. Chen”, Brett stuttered and swallowed again, trying to get rid of that stupid lump in his throat.
“We should celebrate! Will your parents come for the concert in two weeks? We could have dinner afterwards together. Not in the cafeteria of course, we’ll visit the Chinese restaurant I mentioned-”
“Mum, can we leave?”
Brett’s head shot up when Eddy stepped closer and laid a hand on her shoulder. His eyes didn’t meet Brett’s for one second. 
Mrs. Chen furrowed her brows. “Eddy, don’t pout just because you lost! That’s part of life. I mean, of course I wished for you to win, but Brett really-”
“It’s late”, he meant sharply, coldly, “I’m tired. I’ll bring you to your hotel and then, I really need to turn in.”
Brett couldn’t make sense of what was going on. Was Eddy’s mum right and did she confirm one of Brett’s suspicions? Was Eddy being upset because he’d lost?
“Ayaah, don’t be such a sore loser, Eddy Chen”, his mother tsked and turned to Brett again, “Don’t listen to him! He’ll calm down in a bit.”
“I’m just tired mum, can we please leave?”
“In a bit, let me-”
“Eddy!”, Brett cut in, making Mrs. Chen jump in the process but he had to know. Had to know what the hell had gotten into him.

Finally, Eddy raised his gaze and met Brett’s and involuntarily, Brett took a step back.

Those eyes again. The cold, almost lifeless ones, looking at or through Brett, he couldn’t really tell.
“Why?”, was all Brett was able to press out. 
It seemed no explanation was needed though. Something flashed through Eddy’s expression before it froze again and he shook his head once. 
“It’s better this way, believe me.”
Brett’s nostrils flared and there was no holding back those angry tears now which started to draw lines down his cheeks, burning his skin. 
“What the… why, Eddy? I don’t…”
“Brett, dear! What is going on?”, Mrs. Chen implored, her eyes round and confused and one hand covering her mouth. 
“You don’t wanna know, Brett, trust me. But it’s better if we keep some distance from now on.”

Distance. From Eddy Chen. The one thing Brett couldn’t live with. He wouldn’t have given a fuck if he would have lost. Hell, even standing on stage without his violin wasn’t as torturing and dreadful as what Eddy was suggesting.

Eddy’s mother was totally lost now. 
“Eddy? What has gotten into you?”
“Can we go?”, he said in his new, neutral tone. 
“But, what about Brett? How can you-”
“I’m gonna head to the dorms if you don’t need me to accompany you, ma. But I’d really like to leave.”
Eddy turned to the side and started walking down the stairs without a word or even a glance at Brett. 
“What… I…”, Mrs. Chen muttered, her head turning to Brett and her leaving son every split second and thank God she excused herself with a squeeze of Brett’s hand before she quickly followed Eddy because the last thing Brett needed was an audience watching him lose his shit, dignity and his fucking self while his world was falling apart.