slow down | lando norris

twenty-seven.

Contrary to popular belief, Lexi was not holding a grudge this time. However, it definitely looked like she was based on the amount of time she had gone without actually confronting the differences in thought between her and Lando.

The fact that they hadn't been able to have a face to face conversation alone was starting to eat her alive. As it turns out, it was a lot harder to meet and have a chat when both their work schedules were hectic. Add the long-distance factor into the mix and that's exactly how they let two weeks pass by without an exact resolution.

Ghosting wasn't an option this time around, considering Lexi was still very aware of the promise she made to Lando in the early days of their relationship. To save her phone from ending up at the bottom of a pool, lake, or ocean, she made sure they stayed connected via FaceTimes, phone calls and texts. Was the elephant in the room always looming in the background of their conversations? Absolutely. Were they both really good about not addressing it every day? You betcha.

If there was one positive, the time away from seeing his face so often had allowed her a lot more clarity without the interference of anger and annoyance. Actually, she had come to peace with his reaction.

Any negative energy related to that conversation in the car stemmed from within her. Like the savior and mother Taylor Swift once said, hi, I'm the problem, it's me.

The personal revelation was damning, but because of it, it was only fair that she looked at the situation without him in the equation. Technically, he hadn't done anything wrong. It was all her own undoing. She was now just really pissed off at herself.

Lexi knew exactly what had her so pressed. That being said, a thundercloud hung over her head for most of the time she'd spent at home.

She tried her best to be the image of unbothered sunshine in the presence of others, her friends and coworkers, but the fear and dread of admitting to her own shortcomings had her acting like a recluse as soon as she was in the confines of her own room.

It was draining her. She was tired of being so self-critical and living in her own depressing thoughts. She could be out there, carefree, actually enjoying life for Christ sake.

The problem was, in order to do that, she had to expose herself. She was terrified of confessing her own fears and weaknesses, especially to a man. It was just so much easier to take a hurtful thing he said and contain anger in that. At least then it wasn't compromising her tough girl facade.

These thoughts spun in her head in an endless cycle for the better part of her evenings. And they would continue until she plucked up the courage to actually talk through all of this with him. Hopefully it would be soon or else he'd probably just want to end things, which she wouldn't blame him for, but she would hate for it to come to that.

She just needed a nudge of encouragement.

Somehow, the incessant knocking on her bedroom door pierced through her destructive self-loathing.

"Lexi, if you don't unlock this door, I'm kicking it down," Gia threatened from the other side of the bedroom door.

From her bed, Lexi debated the odds of Gia actually following through with her threat.

"Oh move over," Nick said, probably pushing Gia away from the door.

The quiet sound of a click followed the silence and a minute later, Lexi's bedroom door swung open to reveal her best friend and her brother looking quite cross.

Lexi groaned and turned her back towards the door, burying her face into her pillow. She did not need Mario and Luigi coming in trying to fix her problem right now. If this was the extent of the privacy she was going to get, she needed to move out or she'd never get to wallow in self-pity in peace.