Behind the Spotlight

9

I stared at the phone in my hand. I wasn't one to be defiant, I was a good girl. I spoke when spoken to and smiled at whoever was telling me to look their way. Amelia may have been an awful and untrustworthy woman to me now but I couldn't ruin her life by going behind her back. I debated in my mind all of the points, should I blindside her with this or give her a warning so at least she has a head start on all the backlash? Amelia for years was the only adult I could trust to keep me on the right track. I felt some sense of loyalty towards her still but now, I know that she didn't actually care about me. She was just like Damien, just like my parents. She was just after the paycheck that came with me. I scrolled through my apps, I paused at the familiar icons, and let out a deep breath.I navigated to my social media account, I didn't even want one but Alyssa built up my account posting old photos and videos because 'you never know if you'd want to come back.' My thumb was hovering over the 'live' button as the weight of the what ifs crushed me.

Taking another steadying breath, I hit 'go live' and watched the screen switch to my reflection. I saw the redness that still lingered around my eyes and the remains of tears still glistening on my cheeks. For the first time in a decade people would see the real me. I didn't know if anyone would join my livestream but before I knew it the number of views were skyrocketing. "Hi everyone," I began, my voice steady despite the thumping of my heart. "I know this is so, so unexpected, and you're probably wondering why I'm doing this live stream right now. Like oh my god she's randomly back." I laughed to try and hide my sniffle. The comments quickly began to pile up as I spoke

This cannot be happening, she's back !?!

OMG !!! EARLY !!! HIIII !!!

Has she been crying or is she high lol

I paused, gathering my thoughts as I read the comments. The weight of Amelia's betrayal still stung, but it fueled my resolve. "Many of you know me as Aurora, the pop star, and former reality TV personality. You've seen me smile, perform, and live what seemed like a beyond glamorous life. But there's a side to this industry that you don't see—a dark, painful side that has affected me and many other young girls." I took a deep breath, feeling the words flow more easily now. The number of comments coming in with every breath I took was insane, who would care this much about someone who's never actually posted on this account? "I was a teenager on Reality Rush, I started at fifteen and I left when I was nineteen. I gave my youth to that show and I experienced things that no child should ever have to go through. The producers, including your beloved host Damien Blackwood, abused their power and exploited us. They created an environment of fear and manipulation that scarred me deeply."

OMFG WHAT !!!!

GIRL SPILL THE TEA !!!

You're so brave !! Thoughts and prayers are with you my love <3

The comments started to flood in, a mix of shock, support, and questions. I continued, not letting the momentum slip away.

"I trusted people in this industry blindly because I had no other choice. And some - oh by the way I should say I'm only doing this live stream because I went to Amelia Cooper's talk show and she told me to basically shut up and be a popstar. I didn't appreciate that so I made my own little talk show." I half smiled, I knew I was being cheeky and it would catch up with me very shortly but it made a show, and that's all they ever wanted. "I went through some pretty fucked up shit. I can't stay silent anymore. I could stay silent and live in my own misery but this isn't about me - this is about all of the women, no, all of the GIRLS being manipulated and taken advantage of because they think it'll make them a star and I can't sit here and knowing that Diamen and all of those creeps are still making a profit off of those girls. They sleep soundly while we cry ourselves to sleep." Tears threaten to spill out over my eyes and I let them. A part of me cried because this was the first time I was allowed to and a part of me cried because it would show people that this wasn't some cash grab. This was real. This was my life.

I can't believe this was happening :'(

Reality Rush used to be my fav show!!! Never watching it again!!

Can't believe you went through so much for the sake of our childhood </3

The outpouring of support in the comments bolstered my courage.I was doing the right thing. A part of me however almost felt guilty. So many comments were saying 'this show was our childhood.' and I felt as if I was robbing them of that experience now. My horrible past was now covering their gleaming childhood memories. I never thought about the viewer's joy before. "I know this will come with backlash. I know I'm risking a lot, but this needs to be said. The truth needs to come out, and I won't stop until it does. I just, I don't know where to start..." I was starting to feel defeated, my war was already over and not by the people who I thought would end it and then it happened.

Um I'm sorry but have we considered she's making it up??

Ten years later and the first thing she says is she was abused?? Seems weird.

Loved you but lying isn't a cute look. Guess the money's dried up.

Crocodile tears much?

I knew the internet was horrid but I couldn't believe people would assume I was lying and tell me right to my face. Gossip behind my back was something I could handle but reading it as I'm pouring my heart out. Fuck you. "I know this may be disheartening to hear and just outright unbelieve. Trust me. I know how fucked up and unbelievable this sounds but I lived it. The people who were supposed to be 'a second family' betrayed me and misguided me. I had gotten drunk, I had done weed, coke, MD, anything you could think of by the time I was sixteen. That was first season shit." I could feel my rage heating through my body, one of my giveaways when I was beyond pissed was when I swore in front of people. One of the rules in my contract was that I had to be presentable at all times. No cussing, no overtly sexual behavior, nothing that would distract from my 'America's Sweetheart' image. Well, I couldn't do that stuff in public but behind the scenes they were all for it. Cussing was something I never really took up however because I knew it would be easy to slip up if it was in my mainstream language.

I paused, reading the comments filled with love and skepticism. I could feel my heart ready to burst out of my chest, this was a lot and not something I had planned on doing live. "I'm not here to play nice anymore. I'm here to tell the truth," I said, my voice trembling. "I didn't want to believe it myself at first. It was easier to think I was just living a dream, that everything would be okay if I just smiled and performed. But it wasn't okay. It was far from okay." The tears resumed down my face and dripped onto the table forming a small pool. "I know some of you might think I'm making this up," I continued, my voice breaking. "But this is my reality. This was my life. I had to grow up way too fast. And it's not just me. There are so many others who went through the same hell, but they're too scared to speak up. I'm speaking up for them, too." My heart broke as I thought about not only the girls I knew that went through this but the girls I didn't know who were going through this. "I wasn't planning on doing this so abruptly, I'm currently hiding from Amelia. I had to send Alyssa out to distract her. Yes Alyssa and I are still best friends, don't you worry." I added, a smile slipping out while thinking about how amazing Alyssa was.

I love your and Alyssa's friendship <3 Always have !!

Girl, are you okay??? Should we be calling someone for you????

Always believe the victim <3 <3 <3 We have your back!!

While there were still hundreds of skeptical people and unsupportive comments, the people who believed me warmed my heart. I felt validated for once in my life. I heard a very abrasive knock and the furious jiggling at the door. I knew it was Amelia ready to rip me a new one, luckily I had thought to lock the door as soon as Alyssa had left. "Okay, I have to go now, Amelia's at the door and I'm sure she'll want to talk about how I ruined her life and more importantly how I ruined her story. I know this was messy and I'm sure a lot of you are confused and worried but I'm a tough kid, I can handle this. But more importantly I have a security team on site as well. I will continue this, it's far from over. I don't know when or how. But I just ask that you please don't harass anyone or send any threatening messages. It's a scary time for everyone but getting yourself involved may make it worse for us. I love the people who have my back and I will be sharing the rest of the story. Just please be patient." And with that I finished my livestream.

I knew hell awaited me on the other side of the door, but this was what I came here for and I refused to wave my white flag at the first altercation I encountered.