Murder drones Swap AU

Trauma dumping (feel free to join or mock ;>)

1071 words ppl beware loll

ERLLO, nothing just felt like venting my mommy issues rn. Not like anyone's gonna want to read this shi bc everyone's going through some shit. Especially gen Z cuz we traumatised lmao. S T R I C T P A R E N T I N G

I have multiple reasons y Im on da verge of depression (idk if I already entered it but-) but one of them is bc I dont feel the freedom to do stuff I want...as freely as Id like. I like writing and reading stories, drawing stuff and listening to music but bc of my mom's reactions from a while ago and just knowing her in general, Im scared shitless of her judgement and she'd friggin disown me or send me to one of her relatives if she ever found out everything I did on the internet (lowkey kinda wish she would but I also hate her siblings bc theyre similar. They all grew up with strict parents and ended up following their legacy perfectly)

I just text my old friends who I'll never get to see again and the other points I already mentioned. Shes all up in my face and not exactly letting me be myself or let me do what I wanna do. So ofc tahts y I do all dis shit secretly bc I like being happy. Everyone does. So recently I havent been taking proper care of myself bc Ive been using my timed privacy on the internet doing stuff that makes me happy. Ofc its not all I do, if anything, I do get tired from the internet but I just have so much incomplete stuff I'd like to tie up. Not like Id do it all day but everything would be quicker and my laptop is dying pretty soon. But since I dont feel safe, I tend to take advantage of my alone time which kinda leads to me neglecting myself in a way. Ok so half the time, Im stuck with mom while she tries to bond with me by taking her idea of bond and forgetting mine bc apparently Im not allowed to have an opinion till I live under another roof. Either that or have no roof. And Ive gotten wayy more lazy. Plus Im staying up and sleep deprived bc Im using it to do what makes me happy. When Im not doing that, I try to find other stuff that make me happy at home, I turn to food bc I recently got a food disorder 👍👍

I do love drawing but my mom would have me explain every single detail and its happened before, enough to stop me from drawing on paper for a while now. So that hobby died a while ago and I lost my drawing skills with bare hands lmaoo. She also saw me playing a roblox game once and absolutely destroyed my self-esteem. (i was just playing tycoons and battlegrounds, shut up /j) 

"Privacy is a privilege." -my mother who so-called knows best 👍

Saying privacy is a privilege is like saying healthcare is a privilege💀💀

So when my mom is away for a day or so, I have a whole field day with my hobbies. My mom tends to say I shouldnt hide anything from her (its understandable if I had vapes, alcohol, a guy to make out with but the difference I dont do any of dat shit. I just draw, write and vibe to music.) especially my body but ITS MY FUCKING BODY IDGAD IF SHE CREATED IT. She also says that bc shes already seen everything of my body, I shouldnt hide it but for FUCK SAKE I DONT WANT HER TO WATCH ME FUCKING CHANGE ESPECIALLY SINCE IM A GROWN WOMAN THIS TIME-then the next moment shes all "Stop showing so much skin, hide ur body, nobody wants to see ur fat ass u ugly slut." ok fine she didnt call me a slut, she called me a whore for being on a call with one of my gay friends who I didnt like romantically cuz I just didnt.

oh yeah i think I daddy issues too. Hes a bit more chill mainly bc he doesnt wanna deal with how women work. He's already stuck with my mom so he kinda disassociates me but I love it bc he actually respects my privacy and still cares abt me on some level. But ironically hes the one to actually disown me if he knew anything I did on here. It almost happened once. I was scared bc I still love my parents so being given away by the first 2 ppl I loved is heart-breaking. He overreacted when I was talking to my friends who I'll never see again bc he thought it was a catfish or that I was lying. They took my phone away and smashed it then gave me a lecture abt how talking to A GAY GUY ON SOCIAL MEDIA WHO I DONT LIKE would lead to sex-I WAS FUCKING 11 WHEN THAT HAPPENED-

THEN THEY STARTED TALKING ABT THIS CASE WHERE A GUY HAD SEGS WITH HIS COUSIN-WTF DID TALKING TO A GAY GUY ON A CALL HAVE TO DO WITH FUCKING INCEST-

Strict parents really think we'd open up to them after this and wonder y we dont talk to them. They either raise perfect kids who follow and exceed their parents expectations or snarky, sneaky, rebellious and great liars. Im a mixture of both tho-so kinda like a good girl who is similar but nothing like her unfairly perfect brothers. I do envy them but I still love my lil bro.

and that kids, *ppl of all ages*, is y my updates on my other books r slow :D

if my mom finds this and confronts me, the reason y Id be offline and inactive for a long time is bc I prob hung myself ✌

but I think Im doing alr rn (i lied, therapy aint fixing dis shi lmaoo)

congrats to those who actually read this for wasting ur precious timehave a good day yall :DD 

i dont wanna proofread this so if I made a mistake, I'll just point it out in the comments

who's next :3 ofc i got a fuck ton to say but Im tired and im actually gonna go to sleep now✌

next time ima at least try to make it funny instead of depressing and angsty loll