Diary of a Neet Aspirant

CHAPTER 4

May 20, 2024

According to some words by a great person, I need to wake up early regularly, but it still varies. Even though I wake up early, there is no sky of my sleep time that make my eyes a bit sore and heavy and indifferent, but still fine to what we did during our last year of school to get selected along the flow. But roaming outside feels fresh. The reason why I didn't want to stay at home is cause we brother sister keep quarreling with each other, also it feels a bit lonesome to don't talk to anyone. All my relative reside in different state, so we are all alone. You must be thinking that why then I don't talk to them? Cause our relations are not well with others. Same with the locality and the different people whom we try a soft word. I remember, once I had a lot of hatred within me due to all these negative emotions, that I doubt myself as being a doctor. Then I was all thanks to our Botany teacher who had taught so much life lesson during the drop year.( That I will share with you later so positivity spreads and almost no stress of other peoples towards you.) 

August 30, 2021

10:30 pm

Dear diary,

Even though my teachers were a bit disappointed in me with this act, still my English teacher took me to the Vice Principal Ma'am without noticing in a hurry to replace old Discipline Incharge who left school a few days ago. It was school off time and while going downstairs, Ma'am took me out and presented in front of Vice Principal Ma'am. That time I though I was going to be scolded by her too and this line came in my mind while I was hiding my face, "Ye kuch jyada nhi horha mere saath! Aisa kya kar diya tha maine! Ohh God!!" Then English teacher said, "Ma'am she can be replaced as new Discipline Incharge." And then I was like, " What just happened a few seconds ago? Is it real? Whoa!" And then mere mann me laddu futta, I was terrified at the same time. The reason was I don't like actually to do these take, which assign after getting this position. Well for my case, we don't have to do these actually cause all students stay at online mode. 

Then I greeted her, " Good afternoon Ma'am!" I was already terrified and her face was terrifying me more for the fact I don't know what will she respond. She nodded and replied, "OK! What's your name?" "It's Ananya." I replied. Then she was disturbed for a moment and my English teacher supported me by saying," Stay confident! And reply her whatever she asks and learn this that.. OK!" I proceed with the same. But she didn't ask anything much just asked me, "Do you want to do this job, are you sure? " What else could I speak in such a dilemma I just had only one option that was to say, "YES Ma'am! I can do it." " Okay! You can go!" I was happy and excited also at the same time worried too that I don't know what the things I need to do. Mahi was absent that but my another friend, Neha was there who waited for me so long. So, I told her the story and she was happy and replied, "Take care and congrats! Give me some meetha!" I replied, "Let's see, what happens! I will say a NO for it. My studies will be hindered, already everything has become a hustle." She said, " Teri marzi, well I don't think there will be some problem, because others don't do anything. It's just to maintain record!" then I was at sigh. Then I thought Ma'am will reject me automatically. No need to worry! I told it mama and she said, "It's fine as long as you like it." Still I had the same thought. 

Another worry was that could I really crack NEET just by local tutions. I don't think so. I always had this in my mind. The tutors has already said that syllabus will be completed after board exams. I was fine with it. But later on, I didn't feel like it really worth it. So I was finding best coaching and offline too, cause my cousin denied that online coaching are not worth it. She had joined too and her doubts remain uncleared. But offline were not good too. I was just in the way of finding best one, to atleast satisfy me that yes I atleast have some chance.

~Annu