𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒅𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒆, 𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒂 𝒍𝒆𝒘𝒊𝒔

chapter two, dream a little, dream of me

Start asking for forgiveness in advance
For all the future things I will destroy

JJ doesn't know why she wakes up, she feels someone or something watching her so she wakes up in a sweat, blonde hair stuck to her as she breathes out heavily, she can barely remember to breathe properly when she sees a figure beside her bed, Julien.

"I wanted to know if you have sleeping pills." Julien's voice was soft but JJ heard her clearly, she always did. Sometimes it was like Julien was a ghost and JJ was the only one that could pick up on her frequency.

"You could have just taken them." JJ leaned over and picked up the pill bottle from her bedside table, Julien knew it was there but it would be too impolite to take without asking and it would be too impolite to wake her up so she did what any reasonable person would do; she stared at JJ until she woke up.

"I didn't want to take too many." I know myself and if I took one, I would go back to bed and if I didn't fall asleep in five seconds, I would come back for another until I drank so many that I slept but forever.

"Just take this." JJ placed two small white pills in her sister's hand, Julien thanked her when they heard Will groan from his spot next to JJ. He rolled over, laying his head on her shoulder. "Will." Julien takes the pills immediately, washing it down with the water on JJ's bedside table.

"Jules," I send Will a thumbs up, I turn to walk away before coming back. "Goodnight guys." I walk back to the bed, hugging them both in one swift movement. See, yesterday JJ told me to hug her so I don't have to ask her now.

JJ and Will hugged the woman back, unsure of what else to do before she walked away. On the walk down the hallway, she stopped in the kitchen first and started making herself a cup of hot chocolate. There was no way to silence the kettle but Julien kept the light off, not bothering anyone.

An hour later, she finished her hot chocolate, cleaned her cup and she was passed out on the couch. She slept through the night, she dreamt about being awake and when she woke up that morning, she didn't know if she was ever asleep.

I woke up to JJ staring at me, I'm still wiping the sleep out of my eyes when I feel her sit down beside me. "Want a drink?" JJ held a glass out to me, the drink inside it is a dirty brown and I take it from her.

"Fuck, I had me weirdest dream." My head is killing me when I take a sip of my drink, JJ looks over at me and furrows her brows. That's all she ever does, "What'd you dream about?" She asked, taking a sip of her own drink when I checked the time, it's almost ten in the morning.

"Uh, I was laying next to you and you fell off the bed and it was just sand everywhere." I dreamt that I fell asleep next to her, like I did when I was a kid and suddenly it was like the sand was stealing her away.

"You dreamt I died?" She laughs slightly, a hollow sound. I feel guilty when I look at her so I look down at my drink, wrapping my fingers around the glass and something feels wrong but I can't put my finger on what.

"Yeah, I'll cut it off." If you pray a dream away it won't come true, that was what our mom used to tell us. "Good, I can't die yet." JJ laughs again, she's probably drunk if she keeps laughing.

"Yeah, I guess so." I look back at my hand and then I realise what felt wrong, I count my fingers.

One.