I Can't Make You Love Me

Chapter 24: First Loves Drive A Girl Crazy

1am: I toss and turn in bed, looking at the clock every other minute.
2am: I'm still awake, but now there are tears falling on my pillowcase.
3am: I got up to get water from the kitchen, saw a picture of him in the living room and broke down crying.
4am: He's home.

He's home after being with another girl all night. The tears stream down my face and I finally shut my eyes and drift to sleep.

**********

"Are you okay sweetie? Your eyes look swollen." Liz asks me at the breakfast table. No one is awake yet except for us.

Yeah, probably because I've been crying over your son all night.

"It's nothing. I was just talking to Luke last night. I just miss him. That's all."

She gives me a side hug and kisses my forehead. "First loves drive a girl crazy, don't they."

You have no idea.

"How did you do it?" I ask her. "How did you get over Tim when he left you?" I'm surprised at my own question.

"Well," she grabs a fresh cup of coffee and sits next to me. "I cried. And then I cried some more and then a lot more. Then one day I realized, the asshole is not dead. So why am I crying over him? He left me."

I smile at her. Liz is the most strongest woman I know. She sacrificed a lot to take care of her sons, me and Ben.

"Trouble in paradise?" She raises her eyebrows at me.

"No, not at all. Luke and I are great." I smile at her. "I just have always wondered about you and Tim that's all."

"Tim was an asshole. My mother warned me, but it took me a really long time to realize that myself. But you have nothing to worry about Kenzie. Luke's love for you is pure."

***************

"Hey." He says with morning voice as he walks into my room.

How can he act like this? He's acting like he didn't do anything wrong the night before. If I didn't overheard him on the phone last night he would never of ever bothered telling me what he did.

"Go away." I say sternly.

"What's wrong?" He looks at himself in my dressing table mirror, trying to fix his messy bed hair.

"You're an asshole." I roll my eyes.

"What did I do?" He asks walking up to my bed.

"More like who did you do" I grunt.

"What the hell are you talking about?" He squints his eyes.

"I heard you on the phone last night with Kenny." My voice cracks as I talk. "You were right I can't trust you. I was so stupid to fall for you. You'll never love me."

"Kenzie, I...I thought I could change for you. I just -."

"Whatever Cameron. Just get out of my room. This thing between us was a bad idea and now I'm ending it. Please just stay away from me."

"But, Kenzie I..."

"Just get out!" I scream at him. With that he leaves my room not looking back at me. Not even once.

***************

Two days pass and I don't get out of bed. Not even for food. Liz came to check on me a few times and bring me food and medicine. I lied and told her I had a cold.

Ben came too, but he's my brother he knows why I'm sad even when I don't tell him. I try to hide things from him, like my relationship with Cameron, but somehow he just knows.

"Kenz, your done with him for good this time right?" He asks.

"Yeah, I just need some time to get over him. I shouldn't of ever tried to be with him in the first place."

"Good. He's like...he's a dick." My mouth goes wide as I hear my l little brother say 'dick' yeah obviously he knows bad words but he's never said any in front of me before.

"Yeah Benji, he is a dick." We both burst out into laughter.

After three days, I finally manage to drag myself out of bed and down the stairs. "It's Christmas Eve! It's Christmas Eve! Ayyyyy! It's Christmas Eve! Let us open our prezzies Lizzy!" Hunter jump around the house singing.

"Okay, okay. I swear you at like you are seven years old Hunter." She shakes her head and laughs.

"I guess we'll open the presents from Tim and Veronica." Liz announces. We always open their gifts to us on Christmas Eve and Liz's gifts to us and our gifts to each other on Christmas Day.

I frown at the sound of my moms name. I hate her.

Liz places a gift box in front of each of us. We open our gifts one by one. Hunter's dad gets him a Giants tee shirt and coffee mug. He frowns as he sets his gift down beside him. Everyone knows Hunter stopped liking the Giants once his dad left. Cheering for that team was their thing. After Tim left Hunter, Hunter left the Giants and is a die hard Dodgers fan. Something Tim obviously doesn't know.

Cameron's gift was a hoodie and tee shirt for Seattle University. On top of it Tim wrote him a letter. "Son, congratulations on Seattle. - Dad."

Wow, not even a proud of you or love you.

Our mother got Ben a new game for the x-box. He probably talked to her about it during one of our visits.

"Kenzie your gift actually isn't from your mother." Liz tells me. "It's from me. I just couldn't wait till tomorrow to give it to you!"

I open my small gift box to find a paper folded inside of it. The paper is conformation ticket for Mckenzie West traveling from San Fransisco to Denver on the 31st of December. I squeal with excitement and jump on Liz to give her a hug. "Thank you thank you thank you!"

"Well...what the hell is it?" Hunter asks.

"It's a plane ticket to Denver to go see Luke!" I beam.

"When do you leave?" Ben asks me.

"December 31st." From the corner of my eye I can see anger on Cameron's face but I don't care. I'm just happy to be going to see my boy.

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You guys, thank you so much for all the support on the last chapter!

Next chapter is chapter 25 which is the Christmas chapter. How appropriate with the number 25. I'm seriously so cute/clever/creative. *sarcasm*

After that it's bout go down because it'll be the New Years chapters. I'm planning the New Years Eve/New Years chapter right now and let me just tell you it's going to be insane. It'll probably take up 2-3 chapters because there's going to be a lot going on. Get excited!