Heartfelt Transitions [First Draft]

Fifth

Friend.

I mulled over the word in my head as I walked to the classroom, still not really used to it.

I guess school didn't suck half anymore. Every morning I woke up looking forward to it.

This wasn't really going according to my plan, was it?

But I didn't really mind that.

Most of it wasn't going according to my plan.

Especially not the 'being a ghost' part.

A ghost didn't remain a ghost if even a single person always tried to see it. And successfully saw it.

"... But James is with that girl too often these days, don't you think?"

I froze in my tracks.

Girl? What girl? Which girl?

I steadied myself slightly outside, in the hearing range of the gossip between the two friends.

"Adaira?" the girl A confirmed.

Oh, me.

The girl B affirmed.

"Yeah," A agreed. "But I feel like it's mostly out of pity."

"I don't know..."

"He probably feels for her. She was always sitting alone, failing lectures, getting in trouble," A went on. "James is soft on people and she is one of them."

"I suppose."

"Give me a break," A sighed. "You really think she is anything to worry about? You are great. Perfect. Beautiful. You like him. Shoot your shot."

Well, at least A is a nice friend.

I entered the classroom and passed by all the rows, heading for the second last seat.

Why did I suddenly feel so small?

Gossips and rumors were nothing new. I was used to them. I was probably the backbencher bad girl trademark in everyone's eyes. It didn't bother me.

No.

The thing was...

Pity?

Why hadn't that entered my head?

Pity explained it all.

The reason he would want to be 'friends' with someone like me.

He probably felt bad.

Bad for the girl who was always alone, brooding in the corner, sulking. The girl who had no friends. The girl who entered with injuries from who knows where. The girl who became the 'tea' when students had nothing better to do.

The girl who was not half awesome as he was.

"Morning."

I heard the familiar voice. The familiar throw of bag against chair. The familiar warmth radiating as he settled himself beside me.

"Morning," I muttered.

James titled his head at me, frowning. "You good?"

This was just it. How kind he simply was to everyone.

After nearly two years, someone smiled at me like he did. Did gestures of care like he did. And I was letting it get to my head.

He was just like that.

And pity. That played here too probably.

"I am fine," I said.

This half of a month was already becoming too much of a rollercoaster. Being a ghost would have at least been consistent, with a feeling of hollowness deep somewhere in the chest. This was just happy, nervous, anxious, excited, confused one after another. This was way more than I had expected to appear on my plate.