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🔪》Title, Cover, & Blurb
The title is interesting, but I'm not sure how it fits with the story. In the title, "the" shouldn't be capitalized though. The cover is alright, however, the colors don't really go well together. I suggest making the green a darker shade so the gold color stands out more. The clovers are hard to see and the lines on "run" look a little odd. I'm not sure what the clovers have to do with the story though. The blurb introduces the characters and the story well.
🔪》Plot
The plot of the story needs to be developed more. It feels like there isn't much to the plot. The plot is progressing quickly, a lot happened in the short chapters. The kidnapping part is over already and Asher and Tristan are already together. Also, the fight between Tristan and Scarlet was over quickly. Expand on the events happening and don't rush through them. The exposition introduces the characters a bit, however, the world isn't introduced. What is this fantasy world like? Is it more modern-like or medieval-like? Who is this gang that Tristan belongs to? The blurb made it seem like the kidnapping was a bigger part of the plot. Also, the kidnapping part wasn't very realistic. Tristan left Asher alone several times which someone wouldn't do if they wanted to keep their captive. Also, why did the gang kidnap Asher? I know they wanted a ransom, but it seems they could have kidnapped another noble more easily and received a ransom for that person.
🔪》Characters
The characters could be introduced and described better. There is some description of their appearances, however, more should be added. The personalities are shown in the chapters. Asher personality is very childish for him being twenty-one years old. I honestly didn't think he was an adult at first and was confused. Asher and Tristan's relationship needs more time to develop. They got together very quickly and Tristan's father was very accepting of the relationship.
🔪》Grammar/Spelling
I didn't notice any spelling errors, however there were grammar errors. Make sure you're keeping the dialogue and actions for one character on the same line so it's easy to keep track of what's happening.
🔪》Writing Style
The writing style needs work. Show the readers what's happening instead of telling them. As mentioned, expand upon the events happening and don't rush things. Also be sure to add descriptions of the scenery and work in information. In between when Asher is knocked out and when he wakes up, I recommend adding a fleuron (like the ••• you used later in the chapter) to help make the scene change clearer.
🔪》Enjoyment
The story wasn't very enjoyable and I wouldn't read on. There wasn't any development of Asher and Tristan's relationship. This seems kinda like an enemies to lovers story so I was hoping to see the progression of them realizing they're in love with each other.
🔪》Overall
Overall, the story needs to be developed more. Take your time with the events and expand upon them. Also, take your time developing Asher and Tristan's relationship. It's not realistic that they feel in love so quickly. Include information about the world of your story so the readers can understand the world the characters live in. Also, be sure to add in descriptions of the scenery and more descriptions of the characters. Ensure their personalities are realistic for their ages as well. Good luck with your story!
