Angelizing stunts reality: Remember the whole person- not just the perfect parts
Not mentioned in this book is the problem of what I call "angelizing" someone. Every time someone dies, they are "angelized" to the point of their life being painted as perfect. Taken away is their humanity when you take away their flaws because the main thing that makes us human is our imperfections.
What happens during these dark times is every imperfection they may have had is masked over or oversimplified. During my grieving process, it actually helped me to think of my best friend as the sassy, sarcastic, and flawed person she was. Even thinking about the times she made me angry (which I now laugh at) helped me process my thoughts and slowly led me to acceptance.
She was a perfect, kind, and loving person who had a tender heart; however, if I chose to only reflect on this, I don't think I ever would have gotten to the acceptance phase. But when I remembered her as who she truly was- as human- it allowed me to process the hard truth that death isn't beyond anyone, including her. "And dust returns to the ground it came from, and the spirit returns to God who gave it."- Ecclesiastes 12:7
Understanding that death isn't beyond anyone helped me to be still. What David spoke in Psalms 131 resonated in my heart. "My heart is not proud, Lord, and my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me. But I have calmed and quieted myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content. Israel, put your hope in the Lord both now and forevermore."-Psalms 131
Mislabeling the hero as the villain
Usually, the first response to death is to blame God because we see Him as the Powerful One who has the power to change things around. We judge God. We judge God based on how we think He should use His power. We think since He has the power to make things miraculously happen, He should use every opportunity to fix things. In the end, we blame Him for not working the way we want Him to and this blame transforms into "He did this." However, this truth remains. "For He does not willingly bring affliction or grief to anyone." -Lamentations 3:33
Remember who died for this world to save it. Remember who the hero is.
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A story on surviving grief: Loving Trying Aspiring
Short Story"Loving. Trying. Aspiring" is a short story that delicately takes readers through the dark process of grieving. This book is narrated by a young woman who is grieving the passing of her best friend, Amara. Struggling to navigate life without her bes...
