DAULAH

A Chance to Appreciate Living

Justice, mercy, wisdom, righteousness, and common good are the basics of Islam. Whatever gets out of justice to injustice is not from Islam. Whatever gets out of mercy to violence is not from Islam. Whatever deviates from common good to harm is not from Islam, and whatever dissents from wisdom to imprudence is not from Islam.

Imam Ibnul-Qayyem  

__________________________

DAULAH

~~~

Life, I must say, is quite humbling.

I never imagined a day would come when I'd wake up simply grateful to be alive or even thankful to be in the hospital bed rather than at the mercy of someone mercilessly beating me. I guess it takes experiencing what's like to almost lose your life to truly appreciate it. I know that now, and I appreciate surviving, living another day, and life itself.

The pain relievers must be wearing off because I am experiencing aches throughout my body. Every movement sends a wave of pain through me as I struggle to turn my head to where Abba is sitting next to me.

I cannot tell how many hours he's been sitting there, but it must be many, all night. That explains why he's dozing off on the white plastic chair he's made himself comfortable on, but the way his head is sagging at a distorted angle worries me; he may end up getting a sprained neck.

"Abba," I call, but he doesn't hear me because my voice comes out as a hoarse whisper, strained and raw from all the screaming and crying I did the previous night. My throat feels parched.

"Abba," I force my voice out a little more, and it reaches him. He wakes up abruptly.

"Yes, Maimunatu?" he answers, somewhat haphazardly, his sleep-deprived eyes scanning my face. "Do you need something?"

"Yes Abba, I need you to go home and rest."

He relaxes back in the chair, dismissing my concern. "Don't worry about me Mamana, I am fine."

"I am fine too Abba. Please go home and at least get freshened up." I urge.

He shakes his head, "I am not leaving you alone." He states emphatically.

"I am going to stubbornly insist on this Abba, and talking alone is a struggle for me. You don't want to stress me out now koh Abbana," I know that will make him yield. He sighs.

"Okay." He rises from the chair, picking his cap from the side table recessed in the room and perching it on his head. "I need to go and make sure the animals who did this to you don't get away with it anyway." He reaches for my hand and clasps it in his. "They will pay for this Mamana, I assure you."

I try to smile appreciatively, but the sharp sting from the cut on my lip restricts it. "Thank you Abba."

"And Maimunatu," He says, retaking his seat while still holding my hand. His serious expression and tone suggest he's about to say something important. "I am so sorry you went through this. I blame myself. I made a mistake with you, and I realize that now. I did wrong by you Maimunatu. But when you get better, you and I, we will do things right. We will work together towards a different course. And we will make sure something like this never happens again."

I decipher the meaning in Abba's statement, and it brings tears to my eyes. I think what happened to me has in a way triggered heightened emotions in me. Because I just want to cry over everything and anything and nothing.

"It's not your fault Abba," I weep. "You simply loved me but I abused your love and went rogue. I am so glad I didn't die yesterday without telling you I am sorry for doing that. And that I love you so much too."