Look The Other Way | A Haitani Ran Oneshot

{ You light up my world. }

One random night, I dreamed of smiling and laughing my heart out, but I didn't see the face of who I was with or who I was even talking to.

Who was making me laugh so much? Who was making me smile in a way I have never smiled before?

That feeling of lightness inside my chest and the overflowing warmth in the atmosphere. I was...in love...at that moment.

୨⎯ ☀️ ⎯୧

School was never for the light hearted soul. It never intended to bring you hell, but every bit of it made me believe that school was just a training ground for all of us. Wisdom and skills are two of the most valuable things you need to survive.

I thought I could make it through by reaching my hand out to those who are in need. It did, at some point, but it brought me to my downfall in a last strand.

It was fun at first, but will it still be fun if someone only used you because you're a smart and responsible student?

That incident closed my heart to everyone. People didn't believe me when I said I was used, betrayed out of all the choices to take away the crown on my head.

Some did, but the rumors kept spreading like wildfire.

So in return, I just went along with the rumors and made it look like I was the villain all along. Maybe that would spark things up with them.

Seeing them twist and turn because they feel intimidated by my presence makes me laugh at times.

But, there is still a heart inside of me to accept some help from people who I think deserve to be helped.

My judgment isn't always perfect, so I shoot my shot with you hoping you are one of them so I don't waste my time and effort.

At first, I kept my distance with you. Correcting your mistakes and scolding you for when you are about to fall asleep from my teachings.

I didn't want to tie my strings with yours thinking you might become one of those wolves in sheep's clothing, leaving me without a word once you have used me fully.

But one day, my world suddenly became lighter as I stared at your sleeping face. I found warmth in your presence like a sun easing my heart, dragging me out of the misery I dug myself into. I disliked the idea of helping my classmates, but you...

How did you manage to change my mind by letting me catch you sleeping in one of our tutor sessions?

I found myself falling for you as days went by, but I had always felt like you were never going to be interested in me. So I hid these feelings inside my chest and continued on with an unrequited love.

I thought it would just go away maybe tomorrow or the next, but how could it when I see you five times a week?

୨⎯ ☀️ ⎯୧

My brother, Rindou, talked it through me that night, saying, "What if she's using you?" I glanced at him and chuckled a bit before answering his question, "Who just casually falls asleep when someone is so eagerly teaching them how to solve x?"

He rolled his eyes at me and muttered to himself, "Or you're just blinded by love. That sounds a lot like you anyway."

"Sorry your brother wasn't blessed with good eyesight and, well, so are you." I continued to laugh as my younger brother complained to me but I didn't hear it.

"Why can't you just loosen up to your classmates? Your trust issues will get worse if you continue this act, brother."

I dropped my laugh and looked at him with a subtle surprised expression. A gentle smile then appeared on my lips as air lightly escaped through my nostrils, "You were just worried a while ago if this girl is using me and now you want me to be close with my classmates?"

"Is that you saying you only need me? Wow, I appreciate that a lot! You didn't have to beat around the bush, brother." Rin exclaimed in a joking tone. I shared a laugh with him as I lightly nudged his shoulder with my elbow.

୨⎯ ☀️ ⎯୧

Meeting you has seriously made an impact in my life. Ever since those tutor sessions began, I feel like maybe reaching out to people won't be so bad as long as they are like you. You keep pushing me to become my old self, and I really do want to go back.

I know you don't see me as a friend. I'm just your tutor who helps you in passing the grade. You have your friends in the first place. Why would you need me? We live in separate different globes.

I'm the quiet kid at the back of the class while you're the fun classmate everyone wants to hang around. I'm the smart yet villainy while you're the average yet heroine. I'm broken while you're fixed.

You see? We don't complement each other. Not even our personalities nor our likes and dislikes. Nothing connects. We have zero chance of ending up together.

...Nothing will make you look my way.

All the more when I found out you already like someone else.

"What are you doing following my cousin around?" Senju asked. I turned my head and looked at her with a subtle surprised expression. "You're Y/n's cousin?"

"Changing the subject?" Senju raised her eyebrow at me, crossing her arms.

I then answered directly, "No. That wasn't my intention. I just wanted to know more about Y/n and let's just say I'm not really good at communicating."

Your cousin told me a lot of things about you like your close friends, your favorite food, your favorite music, your favorite color, and...your crush.

"His name is Hanma Shuji. She's literally been obsessed with him since last year! Can you believe that?" Senju exclaims. I am simply taken aback upon hearing his name. Hanma...Shuji?

Of course, a senior. Someone I can't really beat. You have always been so unique, you know that. Who would have thought you would like someone who is a delinquent?

That just brings the chance down to a negative.

What am I supposed to do now? Wait... Why am I even trying? I'm just your tutor. You are just my classmate. Aren't I satisfied with just an unrequited love? I just mentioned that term a while ago so why...?

"I'm just using Y/n. I mean, you would too if a girl like her won't stop pestering you, right?" Hanma smirked at me. "Gotta put some good use onto that girl until she finally gets it. She's so crazy over me, I can't help but to sympathize for her."

I defended in a composed behavior, "If you really feel any sympathy, you wouldn't be doing all this. You're just playing with her. Aren't you just pathetic?"

"Oh, but look who she's chasing after. Me, right? I bet you're talking crap because you're jealous. Good luck with her." Hanma sneered before he began to leave the hallway.

He's not totally wrong. He actually has a brain but he uses it incorrectly. He uses it to hurt you and it makes my blood boil thinking he will go that low when he can just reject you, turn you down completely.

What will make you look my way, Y/n? Now, I kind of understand the meaning of "Love is blind" because you are the epitome of that quotation.

୨⎯ ☀️ ⎯୧

We continue on with our tutor sessions as usual though I can't help but gaze at your loving eyes. I adore those bright teal eyes of yours. It's pretty.

You are pretty.

Everything about you is beautiful, magnetic, bewitching, enchanting. However, you can be annoying sometimes.

My attachment to you is getting worse. Y/n, open your eyes or else I might regret what I'm about to do.

Please, look into my eyes and say, "I notice you."

Don't tell me you don't notice me. Don't tell me you like another. Don't tell me you don't like me even the slightest bit.

I don't think I can handle the heartache that will be coming from you. I don't think my life would be better without you. I don't think I can live in peace seeing you get truly hurt by that horrible person you admire so much.

Please, Y/n, look the other way. Look my way. Look here at your side. Look where I am standing. Look at my face. Look into my eyes and find it in my pupils that I like you.