17 ✧ ruined

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One would think that the security would have been tightened here after my escape and breaking Blade out of here. But that wasn't true. In fact it's like they had given up.

But Kafka was still here.

"I knew you'd miss me" she spoke

This cocky bitch.

I didn't say a word so she carried on speaking "You don't know how to lead y/n, you're not mean enough. I know my approach was rather, brutal, but I see your potential. Free me and we can do anything together."

I shook my head, she could not be serious. But there was no hint of sarcasm in her voice, her tone was genuine and serious.

But she's a manipulator y/n, focus. I remind myself of all I went through and that shakes away whatever sympathy I had left for this woman.

"You look different" my tone was dry and my eyes narrowed "not once did i ever think I'd see you like this. i used to look up to you"

"You still can! Darling i know you're strong since you managed to get in here unnoticed i acknowledge tha—"

"I don't need your approval or acknowledgement. Did you hear a word i said? I don't look up to you anymore. I only did when you fucked with my brain"

She shook her head "But look back at it. With your memories wiped and changed you never had to worry about trivial matters like your age and birthday. You were happy serving us. And now? Are you happy now y/n?"

"No" i breathe out "But i will be."

She tilted her head to the side as i walked closer to her cell, i knelt down at her level and grabbed her face so roughly that it hit the dusty bars.

"Am I happy after everything i went through? Are you fucking crazy? But I won't give you the privilege of ruining my life, because i can still fix it, and from now on the only person that can hurt me, ruin my life - is me." I dropped her face and stood back up, taking out the gun from behind my shoe "Though this design you made for me for missions and combat is pretty I'll admit that, so i kept it"

But she wasn't focused on my compliment at all, but rather, her eyes widened in fear "please" she whispered "don't" her hands trembled as she attempted to speak "i need to.. live i.. i need to tell himeko i love her and and I'm s-sorry"

Pity she didn't think of that before kidnapping her "don't worry I'll pass along the message." I loaded the gun, placed my silencer on it and aimed between her eyes "You don't get to have any last words"

And just like that, i fired.

The colour began to drain from her face as her body slumped down on the floor.

I handed the gun over to Blade who had been standing behind me this entire time. "If you want to take revenge, shoot her a couple more times, make sure she's dead." I narrow my eyes in his direction "unless you really don't hate her that much. Not forcing you, i can do it."

But he took the gun and shot her another good 5 times before we left.

"Leave her body there, the guards are about to come give her lunch, it'd be too messy to bring her" Silver Wolf spoke into my ear piece "I'm right outside now quick"

With one last glance at her, I nearly felt sad. This was the first time I'd killed someone out of hatred, who knows how that will fuck up my brain now, is killing going to become normal for me? I'm ruined. There was already no way for me to recover after I regained my memories. I'm absolutely ruined.

As I panick, Blade's warm hand reaches to mine

"Let's go home y/n"

I took his hand, and the two of us got out of there, no longer looking back, as though leaving this chapter of our lives behind us.

JING YUAN POV

"You knew she would come back. Why didn't you do anything? And she committed a murder in cold blood, you know this so why are you so relaxed?" Lady Fu was talking but I was barely listening "I mean I know you love her and I love her as a friend but you can't let her get away with murder!"

"Yes I can" I said calmly

"But why?!"

"Because like you said Lady Fu" I got up from my seat and began heading towards the door "I love her. And though my dove doesn't love me back, though she's not happy with me, I will do anything within my capability to ensure she's happy and safe."

Of course I don't expect her to understand me and where my actions come from. But I know I messed up my chances with my dove completely, she made it clear she won't take me back.

My heart shattered to pieces when she left me. But I picked them back up myself and placed them back together.

Though my heart feels hollow and my soul empty, making her happy and safe makes the empty void within me somewhat more bearable.

Even if destiny decided that she belongs to another man.

No.

That's silly she's not the same y/n I knew. This y/n doesn't belong to him. She doesn't belong to a man or anybody.

But it truly is a shame that she no longer loves me.

I could see it in her eyes, she fell in love with a man who would kill an entire nation for her.

And she deserves no less.

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