Malik and Jade

Chapter 35 (Malik): Why

"That was so much fun!" Jade said after I got into the driver's seat, her body still moving as if the music was playing in her head, the beads on her dress making a slight clacking noise. 

My flapper girl.

"You really liked it?" 

It seemed like she had with the way she'd smiled and laughed for the two hours of our lesson, but I needed the added verbal confirmation as well. 

"I did," she said enthusiastically. "It was so much fun. A little bit of history, and a lot of dancing. And I like that everyone came in period clothes. That was incredible. I loved all the different flapper dresses."

I'd called around to some dance studios within a fifty-mile radius and had found one about twenty miles away, A Step Back in Time, that offered eight weeks of classes with different themes -- in our case, four focused on the Roaring Twenties and four focused on the fifties. Thinking the more upbeat dances might be fun to start with for Jade, I'd chosen that class. Then I'd gotten online and ordered some dresses, shoes and accessories to surprise Jade. I bought her four flapper dresses and I bought myself a suit from the twenties, similar to the ones Robert Redford had worn in The Great Gatsby. I'd had them shipped to my office at the hospital so I could surprise Jade.

When I'd handed her the various gift bags, she'd pulled out the elaborate flapper dresses in confusion. 

"Have we been invited to a costume party?"

I'd smiled. "Dance lessons. I signed us up at a studio that does eight weeks of lessons, with two four-week themes, and first up is the Roaring Twenties. If you hate the dresses, I'll return them but I picked those four because I pictured you in those colors and thought you'd look stunning in them."

"No, I love these," she said. "All of them. Thank you."

"There're some accessories, too, in the other bag. Just one pair of shoes, though, that go with all of the dresses, and I figured you could wear them around the house to break them in since classes don't start for three weeks."

"Thank you. I'm really looking forward to it now."

She'd left to try them on but refused to model them for me.

"You can see them the night we have class," she told me.

Tonight, for our first lesson, she'd chosen a peacock colored dress with some beaded fringe on the skirt that flared out when she spun. Jade had a matching beaded headband over her forehead and a peacock feather gave it a little extra flair. She'd pulled her hair back into a simple bun at the nape of her neck.

"Beautiful," I told her when she walked out of the bedroom. She'd made me get ready in the other room tonight. "You look perfect and beautiful."

With a little spin, she grinned at me, and I thought that look on her face was worth everything.

"You're looking very dapper yourself."

Grinning back at her, I offered her my arm, and we left for the lessons. Nour was with Nasim and Mira tonight, and we'd pick him up in the morning.

"This seems like a step in the right direction," Nasim had said to me when I brought them Nour. "Jade told me about the lessons, and I'm surprised Doctor Serious came up with something so...whimsical as dance lessons and costumes."

"I can do whimsical," I told him. "I just never have."

"What's next? Cosplay and larping?"

"I have no idea what any of that is, but if you think it's something Jade would like, I'd give it a try."

Nasim had burst out laughing at me, and once I Googled those terms, I could see why the thought of me doing that would have amused him. I could perform surgery without  a second thought, but I didn't have the first clue how I'd pull off a dark elf mage.

Jade was still talking with Nasim and his wife, and although I didn't know what was said in those conversations, I know I envied them. I wanted to be someone Jade could talk with and would talk with, but earning her trust would be a long process. First I just had to make it so she didn't hate being around me.

"It's about time you started thinking outside your narrow box," my older brother told me, and his voice was both stern and kind. "Maybe it's about time you started doing a lot of things differently."

"I've been working on it, Nino. But I'm trying to go at her pace."

"Maybe her pace would be faster if she knew what you were thinking, Malik."

I had to think about that, because I thought I'd been pretty clear all those weeks ago at the bed and breakfast. But I took his advice seriously because Nasim was usually right.

Now, heading home after the dance class, I was unwilling to let the night end, so I asked Jade if she wanted to stop somewhere for dessert. Just as I was about to add my usual we don't have to; it's up to you caveat, she agreed. We found ourselves at an all-night diner, my wife drawing admiring glances from everyone in her dress, and I was feeling better than I had in a long time. Jade and I were sitting across from each other, drinking malts, and just enjoying the replay of the evening, talking over the steps we'd learned, the people in the class with us and which outfits we'd liked the best.

 "I felt bad for some of the women in the class," Jade said after a while. "Their husbands didn't know how to lead like you did. I think a lot of the wives were leading their husbands."

"They probably never went through Mrs. Rosencrantz and Mrs. Guildenstern's school of extreme dancing. You did not want to mess up with those two women because they were always ready to point out your mistakes to the class and use you as a negative example."

Jade looked at me quizzically. "Even in dance class?"

"What?"

"Even in dance class you had to be the best, be the top student."

Laughing, I shook my head at myself because maybe she was right. "Maybe, but seriously it was either excel or be embarrassed during the lesson by those two drill instructors. It was just a matter of memorizing the steps, the motions and putting them into practice so I didn't get called out. I just approached it like it was any other class I was in."

"You did more than memorize the steps, Malik. You can say it's all rote, but you enjoy it, don't you? You feel the music through your steps. I could tell. The way you were smiling, leading me through the steps, spinning me out, catching me to you. You just enjoy dancing, plain and simple."

I looked down at the table for a minute, almost able to hear my brother's voice in my ear. 

Maybe her pace would be faster if she knew what you were thinking, Malik.

So I looked back up and met my wife's eyes. This could end badly the way it usually did when I opened my mouth about my feelings, but letting her know what I was thinking right now was more important than my fear.

"Jade, that had nothing to do with the actual dance and everything to do with you. I had you in my arms, I got to hold you close, you were enjoying yourself, you were smiling at me...and I never wanted the dance to end. Or class, for that matter."

Her lips parted, and I could see the wariness in her eyes. There was something else there, too, but I didn't know what. Distrust, maybe.

"For those two hours in class, I enjoyed the feeling of being a husband who was making his wife happy. Every time you laughed, I thought my heart was going to burst. Every time you smiled, I felt like I'd been given a gift. For a couple of hours, I wasn't the man who ruined everything between us, but I was simply a man who was bringing his wife happiness and it was the best feeling there was. I loved seeing that light in your eyes, Jade. I want to put it there every day and make sure I keep it there."

"Why, Malik?"

 I wanted to gather Jade in my arms; I didn't want to say this at an all-night diner.

But she was asking, so I took a deep breath and told her why.