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JEALOUSY IS ONLY IN human nature.
it's an overwhelming emotion, really. anyone would find it hard to trust themselves, let alone anyone else, when it robs them of logic and rational thoughts.
if anything it's a betrayal of the mind. you'll drown unless you pull the reigns and force your way onto shore. but be cautious of the waves, for they won't hesitate to reel you back into the depths of the ocean.
such a feeling never fails to grow on negativity. even when you think you've lost your way of hardships, it returns, circling back over and over and deriving out of even the smallest triggers, making one sensitive to anything yet and the same time nothing in particular.
typically it leads to a bad state of mind. overthinking, frustration, sadness, anger, insecurity, hatred, etc.
you're aware of it all, i'm sure. these are the typical things nobody ever wants to go through.
jealousy itself is an insecurity, and insecurities lead to misfortune to you and everyone around you. this effect is incredibly possible to take place before or after an event.
but either way. it happens.
it was a foreign feeling to you, jealousy. because you had nothing to feel insecure or jealous about beforehand. in fact, the only negative emotion you'd ever experienced was anger at the time.
your parents were... somewhat relieved. although it got you into a lot of trouble with school authorities, you never had issues with the typical girl drama.
unless it had something to do with rin and sae, you couldn't give any less of a fuck about guys and gossip.
you only stuck around the right people, fought people you didn't like, but mostly kept to yourself otherwise. after some management classes you had participated in against your will, you'd learned to take your anger out on the field, court, gym, etc.
that advice earned your counselor a generous tip from your father, because it encouraged you to start hitting the gym with him and daiki loved it.
'it' being sharing hobbies with you as his daughter and showing off how much he could lift or how long he could last in difficult exercises.
he was a major stamina freak.
in addition, the knew focus you worked on meant less trouble with the school.
none of that necessarily took your anger away, just controlled it enough to avoid blowing a fuse every ten seconds.
but in every sense, you were never jealous.
you had everything you wanted: physically fast learning abilities, adapting quickly, being good at everything you tried.
