By the North Star | An Odesta Fanfic

Chapter Eight

Finnick couldn't stand it.

It was one thing to be in the Capitol, miles away from Annie Cresta, telling himself that he couldn't be in love with her. It was another thing entirely to see her, to stand right beside her and listen to her laugh, without being able to hold her in his arms.

It was still dark when he woke up the next morning, dragging himself out of bed and pulling on one of the many sweaters in his closet. Truthfully, he hadn't been able to sleep much at all. His sleep had been just as fitful here as it was in the Capitol, drowning in guilt and hopeless regret. Even the sound of the ocean outside did nothing to help him sleep. Finnick couldn't stop thinking of Annie, and it was tearing him apart.

He needed to get his mind off of her.

"Salmon!" Finnick called, as he made his way downstairs. "Come on, we're going fishing!"

Salmon scurried into the room. Even if he hadn't been awake already, he was up and ready in an instant, still just excited to find Finnick there as he had been the day before. Finnick grabbed his trident from its place by the door and threw a couple of nets over his shoulder before heading out the door.

When he and Salmon stepped out into Victors' Village, the road was empty. District 4 might come alive early in the morning, but Finnick was awake even earlier than most. The sun still wasn't up, and there was nothing more than a distant yellow glow in the eastern sky. Every house on the street was quiet and still.

Well, almost every house.

Just down the street, there was a light on in Annie's window, and Finnick could see a faint shadow moving behind the curtain. The sun might not be up, but she was awake, no doubt getting ready for a day out on the sea.

Finnick took a deep breath and turned around. "Come on Salmon, the docks are this way."

He took a few steps, but the dog didn't follow him.

"Salmon, let's go!"

But Salmon didn't budge. He stayed right where he was, looking towards Mags' house. Finnick stopped and sighed.

"She's not coming with us today, buddy."

Salmon looked up at him, and Finnick could have sworn there was some disappointment in those big eyes.

"Don't look at me like that," he said. "It's not forever. It's just for today. I can't –" Finnick shook his head. "I need some time to figure this out."

He could hardly spend a moment around Annie without falling in love all over again. He couldn't possibly last a whole day out on the water with her, trapped in a boat with no escape from facing how he really felt.

"I need some time." He repeated. "Once I get used to this, I'll bring her with us."

Finnick turned away from the house and went on walking down the road. Salmon's tail drooped in disappointment, but he followed Finnick, slowly plodding along behind him.

"Look, I hate it just as much as you do. Do you think I like being away from her like this?"

He didn't dare look back and see the light in her window, still gleaming through the darkness behind him.

"She deserves someone better than me. Even if it's hard to see that now, she deserves someone better."

It was hard even for Finnick to believe it, as much as he repeated it to himself as they walked down to the docks. It might have been selfish, but he missed having her there beside him. He missed her laughter, the way she'd tease him until they were arguing over some meaningless thing one moment and laughing together the next. Even the thought of sailing wasn't as appealing without her there by his side. The path to the docks was dark and quiet without her.