Nothing Keeps Us Apart (Luke Dunphy x Female Reader)

5x01: Not The Good Morning

Enjoy.
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Having the babies around is a delight. They're cute, but I'm starting to hate them. They are surely getting on my nerves. Every morning I wake up to them crying, screaming, and I just wanna stab myself. I'm just kidding. I'm never dealing with pain ever again.

Haley was singing them a lullaby, "♪ When the rates fall ♪ ♪ They will refi ♪ ♪ And that's the Realtor's lullaby ♪". "George, please! Why are they still crying? Do you think they know they're chubby?".

HALEY'S POV

It took us a while, but we finally named our babies. This is Poppy, because that's my favorite flower. Evan said, "And this is Georgie, because he came out looking curious. You know, like Boy George, but with I-E.".

ISABELLA'S POV

The babies are still crying. Claire yelled, "Oh, hey, Portal, answer. Hi, Alex! How's my little ice queen?". Alex said, "Didn't love being called that in high school, don't love it now.". Phill asked her, "Hey, honey. Um, people keep asking... Tell me again what you're doing?".

She said, "Detecting the presence of neutrinos beneath the South Pole.". Phill said, "Yeah, you... you can stop. I'm just gonna keep telling them you're searching for the snow monster.".

Luke came downstairs and said, "Seriously, Alex? You can't come downstairs to talk to us?". She's been gone for a flipping freaking month. Ha he panicked when she told him. "Wait. So, that's my hair in the drain? ".

I told him, "Babe. Stop worrying about your hair.". Claire asked, "Honey, is everything okay? You look a little sad.".

Alex said, "Oh, no, no. I was sad earlier, and my face froze that way. But no regrets about turning down that cushy tech job in L.A. I mean, yeah, I miss Bill and the safety of other women around, but Grandpa was right.".

The crying kept going on. I wanted to scream! AHHHHHHH!

Haley said, "This is the time of life to have an adventure.". Alex asked if it was a bad time.

Haley told her, "Oh, no. No, this is our new normal. Yeah. We never sleep.". Alex said the sun never sets there and that it's hard to sleep.

I told her she's lucky she gets to sleep. Claire said, "Yeah, that's fun. Really nice, honey. I dream awake now. Hang on a second. Haley. Haley, I know that you are committed to breastfeeding and the book, but I think it's time that you considered formula. It will help the babies sleep, and the pediatrician said it is perfectly healthy. I'm living proof. I was a formula baby... Had a full set of teeth at six months.".

She said, "Yeah. But the book says...". Claire complained and made a sound. Her book was called "Your Parents Did Everything Wrong.".

"Dr. Goode is a celebrated pediatric life coach. And can you tone down the negativity? Chapter six says that it can cause an allergy to peanuts.".

I said out loud, "Maybe I should get that book to my parents.". I love my sense of humor.

Evan walked in with Georgie, "Uh-huh. Oh, man, no kid should grow up without Snoopy.".

I'm seriously confused on how he's the father of her babies.

Alex asked us, "Sounds like a crazy morning. I miss those. My research partner, Yngvar, doesn't speak English.". The crying stopped.

Phil whispered to us, "Guys!".

Alex still talked, "So that can be a little annoying having a research partner not speak your language, but I could also try and learn his language, which I have.".

Claire turned down the volume. Luke came in whistling. I covered his mouth. Haley said, "Wake them, and I kill you. And I mean literally.". Phil almost sneezed.

Claire covered his nose. I'm praying so hard that nothing makes a sound.

But then the toaster pops and then Phil sneezed and then the babies cried. We all groaned. I yelled, "I'm going out for something.".

Claire asked where. I said nothing. She said, "Nothing is something.".

I walked out the house and Luke came behind me.

He said, "It's a fucking pain to be in that house.". "You're lucky Haley didn't kill you.", I joked with him. He said to me, "Now I know how babies could be. Thank god we are never going to have one.". That hit hard. I had to have a forced smile, "Yeah.".

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754 words exact

A/N: Hope you enjoy. I'm not sure this was good. I'm taking suggestions.