SEPTEMBER 23, 2003
ORLA LYNCHBeing normal was harder than I thought it would be.
Especially at home.
I don't know If I can call this sad excuse of a house that word. Home. A place where you feel comfortable, warm, loved, safe. This place didn't fit the requirements for that word.
I've never felt safe in this place, Not a day in my life. Warm? No, we can't afford heating. Loved? I don't know. I can't tell the difference between hate and love.
I hated this place. I'd rather be anywhere than here. Anywhere.
And being normal at home wasn't something I could do. Not when he was here. Not when this place held every haunting thought trapped in my mind, endlessly torturing me until I can't do anything but turn it off.
I tried to sleep to turn my brain off. I couldn't close my eyes without feeling uneasy and absolutely terrified.
I hated him. And I hated her for loving him. I hated this house, I hated my life, I hated my school, I hated that everyone worked so routinely in this house that it was so predictable and unnatural.
I hated that he looked at me every fucking day and not an inch of guilt was behind his eyes.
Digging my nails into the palm of my hand, I turned to look at my younger brother. Ollie, talking and flipping through channels on the television. "is yous okay?" Brown eyes looked at in a mixture of confused concern.
I forced a smile onto my face, ruffled his hair and muttered. "I'm Grand," pinching his chubby cheek and going against every urge in my body to avoid his skin.
I stood up. "Thanks for asking though, Ols."
He smiled up at me, full of cheer he says. "Yous is welcome, Orla."
"It's 'you're.' Ollie, not yous is." Tadgh mocked from his perch on the couch, grimacing with annoyance. I rolled my
eyes, starting toward the kitchen."Don't fucking start now, I'm not in the mood to hear your bickering tonight." I snarled, eyeing my little brothers with what I hope is a parental glare. Like Joey's.
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SEPTEMBER 30, 2003"Orla Lynch."
I looked around the ladies room, searching for the feminine voice with anticipation sticking the hairs on my arm up.
I wasn't used to hearing my name around this school, unless it was Shannon or Joey. Sometimes Aoife Molloy, Joey's friend. And this voice sounded nothing like any of them.
Eventually My eyes landed on a tall, leggy blonde, with dark liner smudged under her red rimmed eyes and a friendly smile tilting her lips upward.
She extended an hand out to me, I look at her hand, her skin. Arch a curious brow. "Hi?"
She smiles, it's wide and weird. I look at her red eyes, eye her extended hand. It's fine. I exhale a shaky breath and hesitantly accept it.
She shakes my hand roughly, leaving my arm sore when she release me. "I'm Cora Roisin." She tells me, although I never asked. I indulge her though. "I'd introduce myself, but you already know me." I shrug, lean into the bathroom wall again.
She giggles. She just giggled. "You're funny." She says, moves to lean against the wall in the spot beside me. I hum, carefully adjust myself away from her. "Can I help you?" I ask, my tone suddenly harsh.
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𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝟖 (𝐅𝐀𝐍𝐅𝐈𝐂)
FanfictionHe was so happy. How was he so happy all the time? Nobody is that happy. It's impossible. ____________________________________ 𝐎𝐑𝐋𝐀 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐄 𝐋𝐘𝐍𝐂𝐇 I hated everything about myself. The way my body matured differently than Shannon's. The wa...