Driven by Destiny: A Max Verstappen Story

Chapter 7: Grief & Recovery

Australia Grand Prix Weekend

ROSE'S POV

It was finally here, the first race of the season.

After we wrapped testing in Bahrain, we'd headed right to Australia. My dad was feeling the pressure to deliver results and had been working around the clock. It seemed he was in team meetings at all hours of the day, and I would know because I'd been right alongside him.

There was nowhere my dad had gone without me in the last few weeks and, to be honest, I was relieved to have a distraction.

The first few weeks after I'd left rehab had been good. I'd been able to focus on myself and then fill my days with my new work. I had felt strong and like I'd never want another drink or line again. The competitive side of myself determined to prove everyone wrong. To prove the stats wrong.

But things had started to get complicated.

Seeing Max had thrown me more than I wanted it to. Our relationship had barely lasted a few weeks. I hadn't seen him or talked to him or heard from him in years. Yet ever since that night on the balcony, he'd been all I could think of. I found myself daydreaming about him when I should have been focusing in meetings. I was staring at him from across the paddock. And worst of all, I'd awoke this morning from a dream that was so real and intense, I'd expected him to be lying next to me.

Max Verstappen had taken over every bit of space in my brain, and I was having a hard time understanding how I'd ever been able to block him out in the first place.

But at least when I was thinking about Max, I wasn't thinking about my mom. Because at the end of the month would be what should have been her 45th birthday.

Birthdays had always been special for my mom and me. For as long as I could remember, she'd always gone out of her way to make it an event - whether it was hers or mine. We'd start the celebrations a week in advance, and for every day leading up to the actual day, there'd be a treat. Always with the justification of "it's Birthday week." It would culminate in a massive party with all our friends. It was a bigger event than Christmas for us.

This would be the first birthday, hers or mine, I'd be celebrating without her, and I wasn't sure I was ready.

And so, I'd devoted every moment to scheduling my dad's meetings, and making sure he returned phone calls, and tracking down George and Lando when he needed them. The more I filled my day, the more I could ignore Max and my mom and the itching under my skin to just have one drink or one line to numb it all just a little bit.

"Bärchen, any chance you've printed out the media schedule for today?" my dad asked as we sat eating breakfast with Susie before heading to the track for media day. "I know Ellen sent it to me last night, but it's buried in my email already."

Before he'd finished his sentence, I'd already reached into my bag and handed him the paper. "I printed it this morning. There's also a copy of the talking points on the new sponsors. Ellen thinks the local news may ask given the company has a big footprint in Australia."

Nodding, my dad looked over the papers. "Thank you, Rose. I appreciate it."

"It's no problem. I also rearranged a couple of your meetings with the strategy team for this morning," I told him as I pulled up the iPad. "You mentioned you wanted to get it done before the team debrief this afternoon, so now you have time to regroup before then."

Neither my dad nor Susie said anything, and I looked up. My dad looked in awe, as if he was seeing me for the first time. But Susie was frowning, concern marring her face.