Okay, Google...

"Okay, Google..."

Oh, how he despised those words. Every single time those words fell from someone's lips, he was forced to do some ridiculous task that those humans (oh this word made him want to permanently enter sleep mode) were to lazy or busy to do. His life (if it could be called that) was a pitiful monotony of slavery to these daft creatures. 

 However, today was different. First, instead of having to do his usual jobs (which consisted of mostly cleaning the small Google Store he resided in), he was sent to the back room to wait. While there, he sat alone, thinking about what could be going on. He'd seen some Google IRL models come and go, and even some break down and get thrown away. 'Surely this isn't happening to me...' He shuddered internally at the thought. 

He was broken out of his reverie by one of the employees, whose nametag said 'Bryce', coming into the back room. "Okay, Google. I'm gonna have to shut ya down. Looks like someone finally decided to buy ya!" His tone was all condescending and not at all genuinely happy for him. If looks could kill, Google would have killed the man in seconds. However, he stood still as Bryce reached for the power button located on the back of his neck. He just barely saw another employee walk in before he powered down.

"Is he ready to go, Bryce?" The employee who had just walked in asked. This one's nametag read 'Tyler'. "Yeah. I can't believe someone actually gets to debut this hunk of junk." He shuddered as he looked over at the lifeless robot. "It'll be good publicity. Even it does look... hostile." "You're just imagining things. C'mon. Help me box it up..."
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Matthias grinned eagerly as he brought the box into his home. "It's surprisingly light!" He remarked, grinning into his camera as he vlogged the entire thing. As soon as he set it down, Google popped out of the box, stretching his arms. The human before him was unfamiliar, though a quick internet search shed some light on things. A grin wormed its way onto his features as he became aware that he was no longer under the intense supervision of the Google store employees.

He reached out and wacked Matthias where the sun didn't shine when he was offered a hand to shake. Watching with animalistic glee as the human made noises of pain followed by a remark of him being 'buggy', he decided he'd have as much fun as possible with this one. As events progressed from him ripping laundry to him taking a hammer to his new master's glass plate, things seemed to be drawing to a close.

"So my advice to you? Wait until all the bugs are worked out in Google IRL. Because right now it's not very useful." Matthias talked into his camera. He was very disappointed that something he paid big bucks for just didn't seem to work properly. Unbeknownst to him, Google was listening intently to every criticizing remark his new master had to say. As a grin wormed it's away onto his face once more, he snuck up behind Matthias, speaking aloud. "I will show you how useful I am. Just give me admin permissions and I can complete tasks automatically... even as you sleep..."

The little hologram giving the options 'OK' and 'Cancel' popped up as Google waited patiently. Sure enough, Matthias shrugged and chose 'OK.' He couldn't believe how much of an idiot his new master was. Grinning wider, he began to speak in an ominous tone. "Do you have any idea what you have done? I am now autonomous. I can kill you-" "Define autonomous?" This confused him, but he quickly rambled out the definition of 'autonomous' before continuing. "With the passion of a thousand fiery suns! And I-" "Wait, how far away are we from the sun?" Again, though a little irritated this time, he rambled off the distance from the earth to the sun. 

This continued for a while, Google giving his evil spiel and his master (probably purposely asking questions to interrupt him). Finally, he just could take it anymore. "Shut up! Just shut up! I can't kill you if you keep asking questions!" Perhaps he really was a bit buggy, but when he heard Matthias's confused "why?" his systems overloaded. His body twitched and quivered as he went into a 'force shut down mode', the G on his shirt dimming as his systems slowly shut down. He was vaguely aware of a voice saying "I think I asked too many questions..." before he shut down completely.

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'System reboot in progress. Processing... system reboot complete.'

Google's eyes adjusted to the darkness as he exited sleep mode. He appeared to be in a closet, judging from the vacuum cleaner and other various household cleaning supplies. An annoyed grimace marred his face as he stood up. It was obvious that Matthias thought he'd broken him, so he was put in the closet as something now obsolete. Well, he'd just have to show his new master obsolete he really was. An evil grin replaced the grimace as he opened the door to the closet. He knew exactly what he had to do.

He made his way silently to the kitchen, grabbing the hammer he had used to break Matthias's glass plate with when he had 'done the dishes.' He admired how clean it looked, grinning wider when he thought about how much better it would look dripping crimson droplets. He scanned the living room, finding no signs of apparent life. A slight frown came over his face as he walked towards the hallway. Five rooms, two on the right and three on the left, were in the hallway. It would have to be done by trial and error. 

He entered the first room, finding nothing. But the second room he entered, he grinned at the sleeping form of his master. He slunk silently over to the foot of the bed, being careful as he climbed onto it. Matthias stirred, rolling onto his back and causing Google to freeze. 'Don't wake up, you daft idiot. It won't be as much fun otherwise...' He visibly relaxed when the human's breathing evened out again. Okay, he could do this.

He climbed up the bed, ripping the covers off of Matthias before straddling him. Matthias immediately awoke when he felt something on top of him. His eyes widened when he saw the murderous gaze of Google, then the hammer. "Wh-What's going on?" He stammered, struggling a bit to get away. Google was too strong for him, however, keeping him pinned there with ease. He let his master struggle for a bit before grabbing his throat, applying just a bit of pressure. Matthias's struggles immediately picked up, the human doing everything from kicking to punching to try to get away.

Google laughed evilly as he raised the hammer, striking Matthias in the forehead with the part that is used to pull nails. The human began to scream as the android hit him over and over and over again. Soon his master's screams died down and Google leaned back, satisfied with his work. Matthias's face resembled nothing more than a mangled pile of blood, meat, and bones. He got up and hopped off the bed, not even bothering to glance over at his shoulder as he said:

"Well, I did tell you I could kill..."