The End

Seeing Again

 Today is the day. My sister Rose and I have been dying for this moment for six months.  Six long, claustrophobic months.   We are leaving our minuscule cabin, and going outside again.   I'm going to breathe fresh, pine-scented air, feel the warm May sun on my skin, and see something other than four wooden walls.

"Wait, Maddy", Rose grabs my arm as I reach for the door handle. Her blue eyes are wide and her lips are pursed. 
 "What?" I whisper.   I can't wait any longer.

"Let me go first" She pauses, "Just in case".  I step back for her to go in front of me.  While I have literally had cabin fever, Rose has been terrified of what lies outside of our tiny home.  She hasn't told me, but it's quite clear.  She's overly cautious about anything we do. And she always has been..

"I'm sure it's fine" I note, but my heart rate quickens.  Dad told us to wait six months before we went outside.  The air would be of safe levels by then, as long as we had our iodine bars in.  They were smaller than a match, inserted in our upper arms, and somehow protected our bodies from radiation.

Everyone was supposed to have one.  When the war started, people lined up at every hospital to have one inserted, but the country wasn't prepared for this.  We ran out of iodine bars after just one week. So the people who didn't get one, were left with a diminutive chance of survival.

Our family got two.  Mom and Dad forced us to take them, not even considering of using the bars for themselves.  Dad promised he would get two more for him and Mom... He promised, and he never returned.

Rose unlocks both locks on the door,  gives me one last look, then pulls it open.

Bright, natural sunlight shines over tall, leafless trees.  We knew the plant life would be dead, fried or at least mutated, but it still hurt to see.  At this time of year the entire state of Montana was a deep green with colorful flowers and animals every which way.   Now, it is as barren as a desert, and the air tastes stale.

I bite my lip. I don't want Rose to know I'm disappointed.  I scoff at my stupid idea that we would come outside and there would be trees, and birds, and other people.  There's none of that. This is now just an empty town, maybe even an empty state.  I don't like the silence surrounding us.

"So, what exactly should we do?" I question.  I don't even know where to begin.  The closet inside is full of canned food and gallons of water, dad made sure to leave us with as many supplies as possible, but they won't last forever.   We have enough food and water for two months... maybe.   After that runs out, we're on our own.

"We're going to get a lot of stuff. Toiletries, canned food, any water... Dad taught me how to take gas from other cars too".  Rose begins listing off all that we need to do, but my mind wanders back to the cabin.  Is this going to be our home for the rest of our lives?   Scrounging for food and water, living in a tiny square...This is it?

I furrow my eyebrows, suddenly annoyed with myself.  This life is more than anyone else gets to live.   I should be appreciative of that.  Mom always said "It is what it is" and I'm finally realizing it to be true.   I can't change it, so I better learn to accept it.

"Let's go to the garage.  Unless someone stole my car, it should be there", Rose announces and starts to walk.   I scramble to close and lock the door, then jog after her.

Our cabin lies in a complex of about twenty, and there is an indoor pool and a game room here, along with Whitefish lake, which is only five minutes or so from our door.  I wonder what happened to it all while we were locked up inside.   I imagine the pool water to be an algae-filled green, the game room covered in dust and spider webs, and the lake bubbling with radiation.