Reflections of the choices

Сhapter ten

"Secrets I have held in my heart

Are harder to hide than I thought

Maybe I just wanna be yours."

"I Wanna Be Yours" by Arctic Monkey

Penelope Featherington was lost in thought as she packed the last of her belongings, preparing for the end of the season. Relief washed over her as she realized she would soon leave the city with all its intrigues and complications. She needed a break, a chance to gather her thoughts and perhaps reset her life. But despite her desire to leave, her work never stopped for a moment.

Penelope knew that her role as Lady Whistledown required constant attention, even beyond the borders of London. The Queen, who closely followed social events and entertainments, had suggested that Penelope accompany her on a trip. This offer was not made out of respect but rather out of the Queen's need to have someone by her side who could keep her informed of the latest gossip and intrigues. Lady Whistledown, with her sharp eye and even sharper pen, had become indispensable in this regard.

Penelope realized that this trip would be far from a simple holiday. She would need to keep her ear to the ground, noting every detail, every hint, every piece of gossip, to recount the freshest stories to the Queen over tea or dinner. But for Penelope, this was more than just fulfilling her duties as Lady Whistledown. Deep down, she felt that each story she recorded, each intrigue she unraveled, were pieces of material for her future book.

The royal court was the perfect place for this. With its endless intrigues, scandals, and, of course, the vibrant but hidden from public view stories of the Queen's numerous children, the court provided invaluable material. In these stories, Penelope saw not only a source for her columns but also a possible foundation for the novel she dreamed of writing.

She couldn't help but think that the upcoming trip would be something more than just work. It was a chance for a new chapter, an opportunity to open new horizons, and perhaps find the inspiration to finally start realizing her dream—to become an author known not only as Lady Whistledown but also as a novelist.

Penelope stood in front of the mirror, brushing her hair, and thinking about how she planned to explain her absence to her mother in the upcoming season. At the end of the last season, Portia Featherington had been preoccupied with arranging the weddings of her two elder daughters and had therefore let Penelope go visit her younger sister Felicity without question. But now, the situation had changed.

After the season ended, Felicity expressed a desire to stay with her mother, and to Penelope's surprise, Portia—who had never before taken an interest in her children's upbringing until their debut—agreed. Portia seemed to be preparing to enjoy Penelope's company after Felicity's wedding, as she believed Penelope had no prospects for marriage. Her mother seemed to have decided that Penelope wasn't of interest to any man and that her only purpose now was to watch over her.

Penelope couldn't understand what had caused her mother's attitude. She knew she was an attractive girl, with a sharp mind and intelligence that men of high society could appreciate. After she changed her wardrobe and took a few lessons in the art of flirting, Penelope began to feel more confident in society, and men indeed started to show interest in her.

For a while, Portia even brightened up when she learned that Lord Debling was courting Penelope. Her mother seemed to have already envisioned their wedding, but when the proposal didn't materialize, her enthusiasm quickly faded. Portia's attention instantly shifted to Felicity and her future. Penelope suspected that the sudden desire to focus on her younger daughter was also heavily influenced by the scandal with Marina and Colin.