Choosing 2

Chapter 8 - Connor

I want to say that I tried, but I really didn't. The fact of the matter was that I didn't want to stay away from her. It was almost as if God knew we were meant to be together, putting us into close quarters for the majority of the day. 

Or at least that's what I'm telling myself. 

I can't even explain it, but I feel so much lighter now that I've met this girl. I still have my anxieties weighing down on me, but getting to joke around with her lightens the load. 

Though, I do admit that this is not all just for enjoyment. From what I've seen from Talia today is that there is so much she seems to be hiding under her standoffish exterior. I saw peeks of it in the morning when she almost had a panic attack right in front of me after I just said a simple statement about the school day. 

I just want her to get out of her head, and I think my consistent pestering is helping. I've been catching her lightly smile when she doesn't think I'm looking. 

Jokes on her, I'm constantly looking, and I don't even care if I sound like a stalker when I say that. 

I'm just saying that I know anxiety better than anyone, and inadvertently helping her with her anxiety is somehow helping mine. 

But most of all, I just like being around her. Her presence just brightens my day. 

Coach dismissed us from practice a few minutes ago, and I'm packing up my bag on the edge of the pitch when Johnny walks up to me and claps a hand on my shoulder. 

"Nice work out there today, Conner," he praises. "I don't know what lit a fire under your ass, but you're owning the field out there."  

"Thanks, lad," I tell him, pride filling my veins. I'm thrilled he thinks I'm improving, but I don't exactly want him to know it's because I need to burn off energy after thinking about Talia. 

I don't know what it is, but it's so easy to talk to her, even if it's slightly one sided right now. I get a rush from joking with her. I notice the little blush that creeps up her cheeks whenever I do. What can I say? I guess If I talk enough, maybe she'll want to join in on the action. 

Hell, I just want to know more about her. 

Well, maybe there is a way? 

"Johnny," I prompt, then cringing, immediately regretting my choice of what I'm about to do.

"Yes?" Johnny asks, confusion written on his face. 

I rock back on my heels, trying to figure out the best way to go about this. 

"So," I say. "How well do you know, Talia?" 

Johnny purses his lips together, holding back a laugh. 

"You like her." He says it as a statement, not a question. 

"That's not what I'm saying," I start. 

"You didn't even have to say anything," Johnny interjects. "I can just tell." 

I raise an eyebrow at him, waiting for an explanation. 

 Unfortunately, he tells me nothing. He just gives me a knowing grin. 

I sigh, "What do you know about her?" 

Johnny shakes his head in amusement and laughs. "What do you want to know?" 

Everything. 

I don't say that however. I just shrug. 

Johnny just continues laughing. "Lad, you're almost as terrible at hiding it as I was." 

I roll my eyes, knowing all about how Johnny was a bulldozer with Shannon. Well, at least he was according to Gibsie. "Am I actually going to get an answer, or are you just going to keep jesting me?" 

Johnny claps a hand on my shoulder. "Alright, alright. I honestly don't know that much about her. I just met her as well." 

"Well, when did you meet her?" I ask. 

"Last night. She had dinner with all of us, but she mostly just listened to us. When she did talk, it was mostly to Shannon or Aoife, Joey's girl." 

I nod, processing all of this information. "So, her not carrying a conversation with me isn't a me thing, and it's an in general thing." 

Johnny chuckles as he walks away from me. "It sounds like it could be a you thing." 

I slump, praying that he's not right about that. 

"But hey," Johnny adds. "I say you should keep trying because I have a suspicion that's why you have more assured energy on the pitch." 

I roll my eyes, disappointed at the lack of information I got. This would all be so much easier if she wasn't such a closed book. I mean, I know it's her first day, but I can't help but want to know every detail by now. Hell, I've only been here a few weeks, and I feel that everyone knows far too much about me already. 

"Can I at least get her number?" I plea. 

Johnny's grins widens even more, which I didn't even think was possible. "You gotta do that yourself." 

Well shit.