Despair

Three Years (present)

Leyla Pov

Three years.
It's been three years and I still don't know if he was the best or the worst thing that has ever happened to me.

He seems to be everywhere. My thoughts. My dreams. My wishes.

I couldn't help but notice him. Sitting on the other side of the lunch room. Conversing with his friends. Probably talking about the lacrosse game happening on Friday.

All the memories came rushing back. Freshman lacrosse team. Sitting in the front row, cheering him on, kissing him after his winning shot. "Friday nights, are lacrosse nights," he would say to me with his cute little smirk.

But now they're all just memories I can never go back to.

I watched as his girlfriend Nicole Freemontt made her way to his table. I watched as she took her seat next to Lance, purposely bumping into his best friend James to scoot over. I watched as she sat down. And I watched until it hurt when she placed a small peck on Lance's lips.

"You can't go on like this Leyla. It's been three years. That happened a lifetime ago. He moved on. And so should you. You deserve way better than him."

I looked up from my tray to face my best friend.

"Kathryn, you know I can't."

"And why not?"

"Because." I said softly, "because I still love him."

"Yeah, but you shouldn't after what he did to you." She paused to look over at his table. "I can't believe he's still with that same whore he cheated on you with."

I followed her gaze, but didn't reply back. I stayed silent until lunch was over.

***

"Leyla!" Kathryn yelled from the end of the the hallway.

I stopped in my tracks to wait for her as she scrambled her way towards me.

"What's got you out of breath?" I chuckled lightly.

"You cannot believe what just happened! James Collinsworth is having a party Friday night after their predicted lacrosse game victory, and guess who he invited?"

"Hailey Burmeister?" I teased as I started walking again.

"Haha, very funny," she said sarcastically. "I don't doubt it though. But no! He invited me. And guess what else?"

"What?"

"You're coming with me," she stated.

I stared at her incredulously. "May I need to remind you that James and Lance are best friends? Thanks but no thanks"

"Come on please!"

"I even bet Nicole is going to be there. It sounds more like torture than like a party."

"So? Who cares about Lance or Nicole or anyone else for that matter? Come on please?" She insisted, "Plus, James said he can hook us up with some vape."

"Fine," I said giving in. "But if I don't get vape, I will leave. And since when do you and James talk?"

"Since him and I got paired to be lab partners in Whitey's class," she simply said. "Well I gotta go to class, catcha later?"

"Mmh," I nodded suspiciously.

I made my way to my English class and just as I was going to enter the class, so was someone else.

Lance.

We both stopped dead in our tracks.

I haven't stood in front of him since three years ago. I haven't stared straight into his beautiful green eyes since three years ago. I haven't felt these butterflies in my stomach since three years ago.