✮𝔦𝔱𝔰 𝔰𝔬 𝔢𝔞𝔰𝔶✮

ᶜʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ᵗʷᵉⁿᵗʸ ᵗʷᵒ

𝐈𝐳𝐳𝐲 𝐩𝐨𝐯: I heard the phone ring, Jesus Christ I need to fucking sleep, maybe it was duff. I went to his house earlier today we talked about a lot of shit,like A lot. I haven't had a good talk with duff in months with everything going on, and I honestly missed him,

Flashback

I had axls car and I didn't know what to do, I thought to myself that I haven't seen duff in a while, he was one of my closest friends in the band I would never rank my friends but duff would be on the higher end of the list, when I got to his house, I knocked on his door, he opened the door, "oh shit hey Izzy what's up." He looked very surprised to see me, I did come over with no call, but I didn't care, "wanna hang out for a while man." I said as he let me in, "yeah of course, is everything alright." He said in a nervous tone, "yeah everything is okay, I was just bored and I had axls car." I said before sitting on his couch, "why the fuck do you have axls car." He laughed before sitting next to me. "Well you know how y/n and axl are having a break, axl it trying to get her back, and I drove him since he is uh- sick, and he let me have his car so I came here." I explained to duff, "well fuck yeah let's hang out, I got some jack if you want some." Should I drink? After everything I don't think it would be too bad it was just a jack and coke, I nodded my head, and before we knew it we were drunk as all hell, "duff, do you think I'm not good enough for y/n." I slurred my words, "what are you talking about, you're a great guy. Your Izzy man." He said to me also slurring as he spoke, "I just don't know man, I have always had a thing for her and she is with axl now, and it's different man, they always had something weird going on, but never committed and now it sucks, and she knows." I said sipping more of my booze, "what do you mean she knows?" He looked up at me from his drink, duff didn't know much about what happened, I have been quiet about everything recently. "Well I kinda almost overdosed not to long ago and y/n found me, I had notes and everything, I honestly thought I was going to die, but I don't want to talk about that shit, but her note said how much I loved her in that way." I said rubbing the glass in my hand, "oh shit did axl see it, he would probably lose his shit man." He laughed while speaking, I haven't even thought about if axl read the note, if he did he would kick my ass, "I hope not man."

End of flashback

I was already up so I just got up and picked up the phone,

𝐄𝐫𝐢𝐧: 𝐀𝐗𝐋 𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄, 𝐈 𝐍𝐄𝐄𝐃 𝐘𝐎𝐔
𝐈𝐳𝐳𝐲: 𝐰𝐨𝐚𝐡, 𝐰𝐨𝐚𝐡, 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤, 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐢𝐳𝐳𝐲.
𝐄𝐫𝐢𝐧:𝐢 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐱𝐥 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞.
𝐈𝐳𝐳𝐲: 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫?
𝐄𝐫𝐢𝐧: 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐝 𝐝𝐚𝐦𝐧 𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐳𝐳𝐲.
𝐈𝐳𝐳𝐲: 𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮.
𝐄𝐫𝐢𝐧: 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐩𝐮𝐭 𝐲/𝐧 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞.
𝐈𝐳𝐳𝐲: 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧.
𝐄𝐫𝐢𝐧: 𝐢𝐦 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞.
𝐈𝐳𝐳𝐲: 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐬, 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞.
ⁱᶻᶻʸ ˢˡᵃᵐᵐᵉᵈ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖʰᵒⁿᵉ

Jesus Christ can we get one day without problems, I walked over to axls room, and knocked on the door, axl shouted for me to come in "not trying to ruin whatever you guys are doing, but Erin just called screaming about how she needed axl because she is in the hospital, some bullshit." Y/n looked at me with fear, she went white. "is she still on the phone? What else did she say? What the fuck happened." She said getting up and started to panic, "Jesus y/n everything is fine, she said something about cops, she is probably bullshitting." I said trying to calm her down. "NO SHE FUCKING WASNT WE NEED TO DRIVE THERE RIGHT NOW, DID SHE TELL YOU WHICH HOSPITAL?!" She started to freak out grabbing her keys and pulling axl off the bed, "what the fuck happened y/n, talk to me." I said grabbing her shoulders, she looked at me in the eyes, she was so scared and fearful, I had no idea what was going on. "It's ALOT to explain Izzy." She said I looked over to axl, he started to get scared too, what the fuck is going on? "You said she wasn't fucking dead y/n." Axl semi yelled at y/n, what the actual fuck is going on, "CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHATS GOING ON!" I shout, it's like 4 in the morning, y/n starts leaving out of the front door, "Izzy you coming?" She yelled at me almost out of the door, I guess I am, I nod my he's running over to the door, I got in the back seat, and y/n starting freaking out like tapping her hands and twitching, axl put his hand on her thigh trying to calm her down, I felt annoyed looking at them, I of course still had a thing for y/n I can't just stop having feelings for her. I will always love her. I will always have hope maybe one day I can be with her, but Jesus Christ she was driving so fast, I was gripping onto the seat, I literally thought she was going to crash, but we got there pretty fast even though I thought I was dying, she ran out of the car and she went straight to the receptionist, "hi ma'am is Erin everly here?" She questioned trying to hurry her to answering, "um well she is in room 415 on second floor, are you family?" The lady asked y/n, "yeah I'm her sister and these are brothers." The lady didn't believe that lie for one second but she still let us go, opening the door for us to leave, y/n ran as quick as she could to the elevator and pressed the button about a million times, "it's okay y/n you can calm down we are here." I tried to calm her down by rubbing her back, "Izzy I get you're trying to be nice, but I'm going to hurt you." She said grabbing my hand in the nicest way, she was so angry but nice at the same time, very terrifying, but the elevator finally opened, and we all got in and stayed quiet, and then y/n ran to Erin's room, I ran right behind her, and Erin was just laying in the hospital bed, "please don't hurt me again bitch." Erin said getting scared of when she walked in, "what the fuck did you tell the cops Erin." Y/n gritted between her teeth, "I didn't tell them shit, I just freaked out and I didn't know who to call, I don't have you're home phone and I knew you probably with axl so that's why I called bitch." She is risking her life talking to y/n like this not just because of axl being right there, but also y/n wanting to literally kill her, "okay so everything is fine, can we fucking leave and never speak again." She said about to leave as me and axl flowed behind her, she just nodded her head and let us go. Thank god now we can finally fucking sleep.

𝐀𝐱𝐥𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐯: we just got home from the hospital because of all of this Erin shit, I just wanted to go home, I was so exhausted, and I just wanted to be happy with my baby, I just gave her a gift and we were having such a great time, and then Izzy came into my room and telling us the news. But we were finally home, and y/n passed out, she needed, she had a long night, but I needed alone time with myself, the only time that I ever felt alone is when I was in the shower alone in my thoughts, it was very calming to me, it was like my therapy, so when she was sleeping I just went and started the shower, and took off my shirt, and pants, then took off my drawers, and stepped into the shower in one foot in front of the other, and I literally just sat down in the shower and just let the water run down my hair and let it get soaked, I felt the steaming water roll down my back, and I felt very calm in this moment but after a good ten minutes of just sitting I decided to stand up and grab my body wash, it was a great clean scent it was like a air freshener it was soooo clean and fresh, after I lathered the soap all over my body with my hands, I started to wash my hair after I washed off the soap with water, I rubbed the shampoo all over my scalp, then putting conditioner on the ends of my hair, I guess it's better for you hair , I don't know y/n told me that, but I finished up and grabbed my towel, wrapping it around my waist, right under my v line, with my happy trail, it wasn't dramatic it had to be like 10 hairs max, but it's still there, I walked out to get my clothes from my dresser, I saw the note that Izzy gave   Y/n, it was his suicide note. I shouldn't read it right? Fuck this has been eating away at me. I would let y/n read my note any day. It still haunts me. The words he said still would make me cry. He always knew what to say, I basically memorized his note it read.

𝐇𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐱𝐥 𝐢 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐢 𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟.. 𝐈𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐧𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐱𝐥. 𝐈 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐧, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚 𝐛𝐢𝐠 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞, 𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝, 𝐢 𝐛𝐞𝐭 𝐰𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐡𝐮𝐠𝐞, 𝐢 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐦 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐲 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐬 𝐢 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐢 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 , 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐡 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐢 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝. 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐭 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬, 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐞, 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐞, 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲/𝐧 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫, 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐧, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐭 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐦𝐞, 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧, 𝐢 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐧𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤. 𝐘𝐨𝐮, 𝐝𝐮𝐟𝐟, 𝐲/𝐧, 𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐡, 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧, 𝐬𝐨 𝐢 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐧, 𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫(ง'̀-'́)ง
-𝐢𝐳𝐳𝐲 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐝𝐥𝐢𝐧, 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐞 :)

It still makes me tear up just thinking about it. I just feel so guilty that I never asked if he needed help but now we basically live with each other, I still gotta figure out, I think it's time for him to be on his own, he has been doing great these last weeks, even when I was doing shitty, but I like living alone. I need to be alone, I'll talk to him when he wakes up,

Fuck it, I'm going to read the note.

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 𝟏𝟗𝟓𝟓

𝐈𝐬 𝐚𝐱𝐥 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐭? 𝐈𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐱𝐥 𝐢𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐢𝐭? 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨?