teach me gently on how to breathe || tradley/brad

a/n

(i know this is extremely long but just give me a chance ok)

firstly, i just want to thank my first two readers: my best friends for like years now: zainus (basically mageeeeenta but she refuses to log out of our joint account smh) and adolescents asdfghjkl; they've been so supportive and heard me rant about this story forever bc this story was literally my life and i love them both lots bc i'm really annoying, okay.

and the lovely people i met along the way, which is DangerousTradley , of course. he was basically my cheerleader from the moment he started reading and made me really excited to write all the time. he's also the first friend i've ever had that's a fan of the vamps and a tradley believer so yeah basically he's perfect.

and then there's hani, my tradley shipping buddy, (though she read this story through AO3 so she doesn't have a wattpad and i can't tag her.) i still wanted to mention her, anyway, because we're like tradley spies together and she wrote a really long, beautiful comment on this story on AO3. ☺️

i'm soooo sad this fanfic has come to an end. i really enjoyed writing it, and it feels nice enjoying stuff that you actually like and don't care what anyone else thinks about it. at a lot of places in this story i was just like basically venting my feelings and that felt really good. i felt like brad at a lot of times, even though i'm not a self-centered, moody liar. well, maybe i'm like one or two or three of those things, i don't know.

i hope a lot of people learned something about eating disorders from this story. hopefully mostly about anorexia, because that's what i know everything about, as you can see.

the main reason why i wanted to write this story is because when i go through wattpad, i see fan fictions involving anorexia, and a lot of them are quite offensive, really, because the writers don't seem very educated about it. there are a lot of things that aren't mentioned and there are a lot of things sugar coated and i don't know, i wanted people to have a taste of how harsh it really is, even though i did become a hypocrite and end up sugar coating some stuff. like, if this story was one hundred percent realistically written, tristan would've been bald for the first half of my story. but i'm so unhealthily in love with tristan's hair that i couldn't take it away from him (so i just casually deleted what i wrote initially about him being bald.)

i'm already making this way too long, but i just want to end off with saying: if you're still reading this, you're lovely, okay. and if you ever think about purging or skipping a meal, believe me when i say it really doesn't help. your life is instantly at risk from the first purge and skipping meals may seem like the easiest way to shed off some pounds/kilos, but starvation kills and once you start eating again, you gain mostly all your weight back.

be kind to yourself, lovelies. you're beautiful no matter what you look like, and if you're really feeling uncomfortable in your skin, please talk to someone, or go out and lose weight in a healthy way that won't damage your perfect body. and anyway, the most beautiful thing you could ever have is a smile ☺️ (i'm lame, don't judge.)

ah, i really hope i did anorexia justice, even though i was probably stupid for sugar coating tristan's character's appearance, but hopefully i painted the correct picture and the few lovely people that read this still love me lmao. okay, i've realised i'm dragging this on because i don't want to let this story go, but all good things must come to an end. i love you guys, and i hope you all love (or learn to love) yourselves ☺️