Hearts Quick to Burn

IV.

I had a shitty night and felt like crap. It was impossible to sleep with the thoughts of Lana and what happened with Henley.

I spent my morning working, having to fake being someone I wasn't, giving advices to get better. Then I finally had my lunch break. Thank God.

I went to the small grocery store near my office and took a sandwich and a diet pepsi. I was too lazy to eat something more honestly. I was walking out with my head down when I bumped into someone familiar.

"Fuck, I'm sorry!" I excused myself quickly before walking away, too embarrassed to hear the response – it was Henley's friend and I wasn't in the mood to have a conversation with someone related to him who would ask me how our relationship was going.

...

It was finally friday night but I didn't wait for Henley like usual. I didn't even stay home.

I took my car and drove to Wilshire Blvd. Why would I do that? I had no idea – I just needed to be far away somewhere I shouldn't have been. I wanted to see the sunset, but my apartment didn't feel like the right place. So I took a room in an expensive hotel. I haven't really thought about it when I did it.

After putting my things in the room, I got on the roof that seemed empty. I sat there like I always used to do and watched the sky silently, my elbows resting on my knees as my jaw was held by my hands. Life was beautiful, but I wasn't feeling happy.

I was thinking about nothing and everything at the same time: how LA made me feel lonely, how I was probably having my first fight with my perfect boyfriend. Was he really caring about me? At some point, was he just a man?

I had no clue, and didn't want to.

I heard steps and tried to seem calmer, less conflicted, more confident... Exactly the opposite of what I felt. Was I overreacting to everything because I wasn't used to be hurt anymore? Anyways. I kept looking in the same direction, not bothering to look at the person sitting a few meters away from me.

Well, I tried. I looked to the side quicky, seeing a woman with a vape in her hand. I first thought she could've sat further away from me, but I didn't stop my eyes from looking at her from head to toe, taking in her figure, her curves and her face traced perfectly.

I noticed that my hands started trembling so I stuck them between my knees, looking away from the woman vaping right next to me. I tried, really, to focus on the streets glimmering in the dark and the people walking and chatting. But my mind was somewhere else.

"You're not attacking me?" The voice beside me asked, bringing me back into reality.

"Why do you think I'd do that?" I replied with an uncertain voice. I wished I could've seemed more casual and at ease. I kept on looking at the streets, knowing I'd lose my way if I looked somewhere else. I almost wanted to fall from this roof to escape.

"I faced paparazzis earlier, I had to get here to have some peace."

"Mh," I hummed, trying to run away each time a word slipped away from my lips. But that's not how a conversation's supposed to be.

"What are you doing here?"

"I got tired of the roof of my apartment." I felt her stare at me, setting my body on fire. I didn't want to feel like that. I wasn't prepared to it.