gravity - succession

two

You were oblivious.

Roman had made a number of comments about how Lukas wanted to fuck you ever since that night. Of course, you denied them. You didn't believe that they could be true.

You had a small reprieve from the comments Roman made at the wedding of your mother. You were out by the pool with your legs dipped in the water while you soaked up the sun. You had your bathing suit on along with a pink long sleeve crochet dress that acted as a coverup for the bathing suit.

You didn't even know why you put your bathing suit on. It wasn't like you planned to get in the water. You couldn't or else everyone would know. Everyone would see. And people couldn't know because no one would ever understand.

You suppose you wore the bathing suit to make people think you would get in the water; to not raise suspicions. But it wasn't like anyone particularly paid attention to you. Even your own mother had been surprised to see you like she'd suddenly realized she had another daughter.

"Oh," Caroline felt her eyes widen. "Ella. I wasn't sure if you'd be coming."

"Of course I'd come. Why wouldn't I? It's your big day," you had a small, excited smile. You loved weddings. You supposed you liked to see other people happy even if you couldn't be.

"Well, you know..." Caroline trailed off. She and Uncle Ewan were the only other ones that knew where you had been for a year, what had happened, what had changed.

And your mother changed the subject. "But I am so happy you're here, dear. You seem a bit happier, don't you? Well, I'm sure all this sun will cheer anyone right up. You'll try and get some, won't you?"

The topic of happiness made you uncomfortable. Whenever you thought of the word happy, not one thing popped up in your head that made you happy. Sure you had everything you could ever want but you didn't have what you needed; you had fleeting moments of joy but not the bliss that settled deep into the bones. Your bones were not weighed down by it and your brain did not comprehend it.

But you smiled, "Yes, Mom."

So that was what you did: spent time in the sun. You never really were a sunny weather type person. It was too hot, too bright, and you felt like you were going to melt away and no one would even notice. No, you liked the rain and the chill and the cold.

Luckily, you didn't have to spend too long in the sun. Roman came to get you and practically dragged you with him, telling you that they were going to see Lukas.

Roman had been ordered to take you. He had told their father about how Lukas liked you. After the tweet fiasco, he wanted Roman to go talk to the man and he wanted you brought along.

"Bring your sister with you."

So here you were, still in your bathing suit and coverup dress to see Lukas. You kept tugging at the dress, trying to make it longer than it was. It only went just below your butt and you felt very self-conscious. And it also didn't feel right going to see someone you barely knew in a bathing suit.

"You could have at least let me change," you pouted at Roman as they sat in the boat that sped across the water.

"Why? Lukas will love it," Roman smirked a little.

"Roman! He does not want to...you know," you said quietly like it was a sin to speak any louder about the subject of sex.

"You can't even say it. That's cute."

You huffed and ignored him. You didn't know why Roman had to make so many lewd comments about Lukas wanting to "fuck" her. It was like he was obsessed with it. You didn't understand.