𝑳𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒍; 𝑴𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒖𝒏𝒈.

SHAPE OF SYMPATHY.

Song recommendation: Fourth of July by Sufjan Stevens.

Sitting inside that classroom Jisung fought with all his might to concentrate on the class, It was quite boring and the voice of his professor was drilling in to his ears and he somewhat hated it.. He didn't belonged in this class.

While the others studied this with all their will, Jisung rather sat there wondering why he was among such a crowd.

It was once again a reality check, The reality and truth behind how this wasn't for him.

While the others did everything with perfection he sturggled with the smallest things, It always felt like he was standing far behind everyone else..

Always watching their backs moving forward.

And it wasn't that far away from the actual truth. Jisung was called to the professor office, The old women held a facial expression of disappointment as Jisung lowered his head while swallowing down a lump.

"Mr. Han Jisung, Are you sure you are really taking this seriously?"

The women questioned as she scanned across the male's progress card where there were any difference from last time. To those questions Jisung had no answer and the next he hears is a sigh as the women spoke up.

"If anesthesiology is really difficult for you, I advise you to take an explore to the other branches of studies."

At that Jisung nods as he bowed before leaving the room.

While walking along the hallway, Jisung head fills up with many thoughts.

There was no way for him to get in to some other branch of studies, It was a heck ton of work which got him in to anesthesiology in the first place, So it was far more difficult than said.

But he didn't knew how he could move forward, How can he improve in something as difficult as this?

The stress of it got the best of Jisung, It made his stomach churn around to a point where he wanted to vomit everything out. He felt so drained out, He felt beyond tired, And the voices around him made him feel so irritated, The faces of the people looked ugly to a point that his chest filled with disgust..

And then he snapped out of it, Feeling guilty of how his mind almost started turning and twisting in to something so ugly and evil.

And just then he saw a dull hyunjin approaching him, Jisung's chest tightens at how his face looks and he questions why the male looked so bothered and it was just to hear that him and his boyfriend Felix had a fight.

Once again pushing his own worries deep in to his wounded chest he sat next to hyunjin on a bench, Listening to his worries as he tried his best to advice the older with it, He later even approached Felix himself as a shoulder to lean on and by the end of the day Jisung smiled proudly as he watched the two boys walk away happily, Hand in hand with big bright smiles.

It felt nice to watch people being happy because of him but what about him? What about his own falling apart self?

He had no idea about how to save himself.

After the horrendous day at University Jisung was walking back home, Watching the sky turning darker at every step he took forward. He said he will be back by 5 to doyoon but he knew now that it was late than that.

Once again his chest felt heavy, Once again he hated being around people, Once again his head filled with negative thoughts.

The hatred towards people grew, The hatred towards himself grew and once again he didn't knew why his brain was turning evil once again, Being evil enough to hate innocent people.