Don't Hide Feelings

Confusion Recircles

Clarke's pov-

"Open the gate!" 

I burst into Camp Jaha with only one person on my mind. Bellamy. I can't wait to retreat into his warm arms and fall apart with him. He can be my rock, he can be there for me.

"Clarke?" I jump slightly, not expecting to talk to someone before I saw Bell,

"Octavia?" She seems broken and I wonder what could have gotten her this way.

"Clarke. You got my brother killed you killed him, you. You just come back here expecting everything to go back to normal when I've been here dealing-"

"Octavia! What do you mean? Bell's not dead! Are you sick?" A crushing feeling surrounds me. It's dark tendrils taking my happiness away.

"Yes he is Clarke he took his own life with a knife and he told me in a note that you leaving him, it-it killed him Clarke. Please leave." This can't be true. Bell can't be gone.  I fall to the ground not able to bear the news. "No! You don't get to do that! You were the one who brought this on us! You were the one who left him for Lexa! Clarke, go. away." I stand up and stubble out of the camp before I register what I'm actually doing.

Lexa's pov-

Since I have last seen spoke to Clarke I have arrived in Polis. 

I walk around for a little while, admiring the young warriors training for combat and the little babies standing close to there mothers, observing what someday might be them. The stress of leading seems to pay off on days like this, when everything seems put into place. There's just one thing missing. Clarke. 

Clarke's pov-

I thought he had forgiven himself. I thought he was alright. I thought I could go back to someone but it turns out that I have been left with no one. I want to go back to Lexa but I know she must lead. I know that I can't have everything I desire but I desire forgiveness and love. I need someone. I need Lexa.

My feet are numb, my mind is numb but I know where I am going, Polis. 

Lexa's pov- 

After a long day of ordering people around and leading, I wander back to my tent to relax. I take off the heavy custom armor that I wear everyday, and sink down in to the soft cloud of animal furs that my people have given me over time. Here I am able to think without being interrupted and sleep. This is my special place, and I hope to one day share it with Clarke. But I know how unlikely that is and I slowly drift off.

I walk around outside in the forest, admiring the nature that surrounds me. All is well and I couldn't be happier. Suddenly I hear a human like rustling in a near by bush and I pull my sword. I begin to see the features of a young blonde haired girl. I put my sword away and run up to her, my heart making this decision, not my head, the young lady is Clarke. She pulls me into a hug and and sighs softly. The sound making my heart melt, she is here, she is safe, she is mine.

I jolt awake to the sound of a young couple arguing outside of mt tent. I wish that dream could be a reality but I know my people must come first and I'm scared that if i give into Clarke, I will not be able to lead with only my head.

She hasn't left. That's the first thing I notice about her. The second thing I notice is how she smells of the trees and flowers around her. The third being her smile pressed against my hair. 

She pulls away from me and glances up and down. As if she's satisfied with herself. She smiles and pulls me softly toward the entrance of Polis.  

I wake up again to darkness. It most have been a while since I was last awake.

We stand there together looking over the people. They see our smiles and catch on, there are some looks of disapproval but mostly they are looks of glee, my people are happy to see me happy.

Clarke and I retreat to my tent at dusk. We have much to discuss. I don't push her towards anything because she hasn't told me she was ready, not after Finn. We talk for hours before falling asleep together in a pile of fluffy furs.

the sun has only just begun it's journey towards the center of the sky when I wake. I decide I have a few more hours and slowly drift back off.

I'm now walking in the woods with Clarke, she smiles as the birds chirp around her, her hair glowing against the sun. My people have not minded her, they treat her like the true skai prisa she is, they do not mind that she is mine.

The sun now beats down on my tent, forcing my eyes open. I awake in awe, the dream from last night was beautiful and I am truly happy. My people would accept her. My people would love her. I need Clarke. 

{Ok so I know I end a lot of my chapters like this, but I officially know where I'm going with this fanfiction so stay tuned! (I can warn you right now that this won't have a "happy" ending, I can guarentee though, that it will end with clexa <3, I'm also aware that I make the pov's really choppy and I know I can work on this...) Thanks for reading}-

Avery :)