Tiger Stripes

T ~1~

Every morning I wake up to take a shower, and every day I try to scrub the stripes away. It never works, I don't know why I keep trying. Doctors say that it is something with my body that is making these stripes. Others want to do tests, mom says that it is up to me if I want to be tested on, I say, "No." every time. I don't want to be a kid who is tested on and is one of those creeps that know everything. Sadly, I am already one of those creeps. The one who has the lines on his wrist, the one who sits alone at the table in the back at lunch. I am the one who is always afraid to go out into the world and do something. I will forever be afraid to do something other than follow the rules.

Is life really worth taking all of the risks just to be happy when I can be happy following the rules. It would be better if I had a friend along the way. It's okay, no one other than my relatives actually love me, and I have to say that I am fine with that. Mom has always been there for me and dad tries. I have no siblings, just me, mom, and dad. Dad works a lot, mom works as a lunch lady at my school. We all have brown hair and mom and I have dark brown eyes, dad has crystal blue ones. Our house is big, but no one from school would know that because everyone avoids me. Teachers don't call on me, they aren't even nice, they avoid me! I guess I am used to everything now. It was harder when I was younger, I thought they would never talk to me. I took it very hard. Now that I have been on this Earth for fifteen years, everything is normal. 

I wouldn't say that my school is stereotypical but we have our time where it seems we are. The jocks, the popular, the weird, the freaks, the geeks, the bands, and then there's me. I don't fit in, anywhere. It seems I am like that anywhere I go, I just don't fit in. I am that way at school, public places, and even at home. Is is sad that I can find a place that I wont be judged, not even home? Church is one place I can feel welcomed by God, but not by people. I find myself talking to God almost everyday, but not asking him for things others might ask for. I almost always ask, "Why?" and leave it at that. I will lay in my bed all alone and ask the question every other minute or so. "Why? Why, did you make me this way. I know I have a purpose but why do I have tiger stripes on my right arm?" Sometimes I pray that he will answer me, other times I know he wont so I turn to my side and fall asleep. I never dream so I never get to see that future. I never get to wonder what just might happen. I sit there in silence and think, why?