What Does Forever Mean to You? (Sequel to "When I Said Forever, I Meant It")

Chapter 13: Some Resolve

((Hello, my...crickets. You guys are now my crickets because all I get on these chapters are crickets. A few comments here and there but that's it. Thank you to the people that comment routinely. Too the others, poo on you!

Anyway you will be happy to hear that this chapter is going to be happy. I promise. I can't promise that it won't be sad at some point but by the end you won't be crying hopefully. And if you do they will be tears of joy. This chapter will also have some self-harm aspects in it and the self-harm will reoccur throughout the story. I don't know how triggering it is, so be careful when you read it and please stop at any time if it gets to be too much. It might be nothing and you'll be fine but I don't wanna risk it.

Love you crickets! And don't forget to vote, comment, and follow :) <4))

~~Harry's POV~~

Before I can stop myself, I throw my body at Liam's, and crash my lips against his. He doesn't resist and it escalates from there. To what I'm not sure; I blacked out. I do remember at some point being shirtless on his bed with him straddling me. But I again blacked out shortly afterwards. The third and finally thing I remember is my head bent over him, about to take him in my mouth. Luckily I don't blackout, but am pulled out of this episode by a loud shriek. My eyes leave Liam's long member, and shift to Zayn in the doorway.

I jump off the bed it shock and get as far away from Liam as possible. Liam panics and jumps off the bed. He runs to the door and stands in front of Zayn. They exchange words that I don't hear because I block them out. The conversation ends when Zayn storms away.

Liam snaps out of his daze and looks at me on the ground. He walks over to his boxers and puts them on before sitting down next to me. Something in me releases and I tell him everything. About how bad of a person I am, how I screw everything up. He just shakes his head and claims I just made mistake and that it isn't anything I can't fix. But I don't believe him.

Eventually he tells me I should probably go to my room. Still somehow functioning, I gather my clothes and make my way to my room. Once there I drop my clothes and my body in the middle of the floor. I realise what I did, and what I was about to do. I was about to not only shred the microscopic chances of getting Louis back, but also destroy the relationship of my best friends.

I pull myself off of the ground and make my way to the bathroom. I open the door to the shower and pull my cheap razor from the shelf. After a few minutes of prying and pulling, and many small cuts on my finger, I get the small, silver blades free of the plastic encasing. I hold one up to the light and admire its slim, glistening beauty. I bring the blade down to my arm, but change my mind. I don't want the scars to show. I lift up my shirt and expose the normally flat skin, which now looks bulgy, bloated, and gross. I pull the razor across my stomach three times. One for Zayn; one for Liam; one for Louis. They aren't deep, but they definitely draw blood. I smile as the scarlet, warm liquid trickles from my skin and flows slowly down my abdomen. I can feel the pain of everything leave my body with crimson water.

The sound of a slamming door in the distance pulls me out of my haze. Panicking at the thought of someone seeing me I grab the nearest towel and wipe up the blood. I make sure the cuts are clotted before slipping another shirt over my head. I leave the bathroom and collapse on my bed. The comforter feels like heaven under my face, so I crawl underneath it and close my eyes. Shortly after, I fall asleep with the sound of sobs from another room faintly tickling my ears.

A few hours later I'm brought out of my slumber by a knock on the door. I take a glance at the clock on my nightstand and see that it is almost seven. I attempt to sit up in the bed but a burning, stinging feeling erupts from my stomach. I gasp in pain and clutch the spot where the sensation is emanating. I yank my shirt up and reveal the three cuts that I made just a few hours ago. They are already clotted but the pain is almost unbearable.