A hidden cove of nature. The chirping of insects and birds created a wondrous harmony with the sound of a cascading waterfall. As my eyes adjusted, I found Astarion and the dryad across the stream, connected by a fallen tree. "I see you. I see the bond between you. So tender. So fragile. But do you see it for yourselves? Astarion. A tumultuous past hidden behind a mirthful grin. The heart is fraught, so let us begin with the joyous. When is he happiest?"
"He..." My eyes tracked the length of the log between us, my gaze slowly rising to meet Astarion's. He had agreed to this test, but did that mean he wanted me to speak true? I wanted to. I desperately wanted something external to validate our love, our bond. A stronger me would have denied it, would have said the opinion of a dryad we'd never met didn't matter, but that wasn't the case. I recalled all the times Astarion smiled, when he laughed. But when was he happy? Was he happy with me, or was that feeling something else? "Astarion is happiest when he's elbow-deep in gore." It was a fact I knew, my insides remembered their fluttering every time I caught him on the field, white hair speckled with blood and fangs dripping with child-like glee as he slashed and maimed. He was carefree, then. His mind unbidden by the weight of his life as he focused only on what was before him.
Astarion smirked, raising a hand. "Hah, guilty as charged. Sometimes literally." At the dryad's coaxing, I took a step onto the log, refusing to look at the rushing water below.
"Hear how your bond thrums with pleasure. Strong. Vital. Pulsing with affection. Many things delight the heart, but only one makes it sing. Tell me, what does he desire more than anything?" I wanted to say me. I wished it was me. But I had long since known what Astarion desired above all else.
"Freedom."
The scowl that painted Astarion's face had me flinching. "You're not wrong, but do you need to tell every stranger we meet our business?" Despite his tone, he took a step toward me. The action did not help the guilt I felt at exposing his vulnerability.
"The sweetest loves dance lightly on the tongue. But now we must dig deeper. Into the most painful reaches of the spirit. Fear sits in the soul of all- to tame it, we must name it. Astarion- what is his deepest fear?" Something prickled at my senses, then. A worry, an inkling of something awry. I looked past Astarion, pinning the dryad with my stare. My eyes closed for a moment as I braced myself, then fluttered open to see a dizzying array of threads zipping across the air. All of nature quivered at my fingertips, every flower, every tree, every blade of grass woven itself together in nature's harmony. And none of it connected to the dryad.
"Darling?" Astarion's question was low, quiet. He could sense danger better than anyone, could clock the change in my demeanor instantly. I faced him with a plastered-on smile, stretching out a hand.
"Breaking a nail, of course."
"Hah! Well, when you look this good..." He played along without missing a beat, swiftly crossing the long to grab my hand. "I have to say, you know me better than I thought. I'll have to be more mysterious in the future." I squeezed his fingers tightly, unable to voice my uncertainty. He dipped his chin, a subtle signal, but I knew he understood me.
"Your bond is false, and I know why," As the dryad spoke, Astarion turned his body toward her, keeping me behind him. "Because your heart belongs to another. Close your eyes, sweet miss, and she will come to you." A flash of white and we were back at the circus, both of us tense as we reached for our weapons. The woman before us had changed. Her red armor and deathly skin were instantly recognizable. "So, you're the lickspittle who crushed the Bone Lord's thrall. Oh! Have you come b-begging, sniffing for our stones? Tsk, tsk, tsk. Gortash won't like that. A throat his black hand can't choke the spit from. Your bond will not save you. He will wrap its cord around your neck and make you swing from it.When you find the lordling, tell him Orin is watching." A twist of the ring on her finger and she vanished so swiftly I could barely process her words.
"Orin is a shapeshifter. How long has she been watching us?" The worry tumbled out of me as Astarion directed me to a bench. As if some sixth sense had altered them of danger, Karlach and Gale rushed over.
"My, you look shaken, and you're not the ones who just lost your weight in gold!" Gale ran a hand through his hair as Karlach kicked at the earth abashedly.
"Orin. Gortash. Shapeshifter. She is. The dryad wasn't real," I couldn't string together a proper sentence as a sick feeling wriggled in my gut. I'd been telling our enemy secrets about Astarion. For his part, the vampire looked more ruffled than afraid.
"Ugh. It's not enough we have a gallery of villains to look out for, but now we could be infiltrated by a shapechanger! I can't even tell if any of you are acting strange because you've been replaced or because this group is full of weirdos." As he ranted, Scratch and Briza forced their heads into my laps, the weight of them comforting me as I pet their fur.
"It should be fine. I can tell. I can watch our threads. It's just... I'll just have to focus on it."
"Yes, the weave!" Gale exclaimed. "What a glorious solution."
"But what about the others?" Karlach butt in, plopping down next to me. "We agreed to split up to cover more ground, but there's only one of you. Orin could infiltrate without them knowing."
"Oh! Oh. What if she's already-"
"I'll send a message to Haslin," Gale assured as he pulled a sending stone from his pocket.
"When did you get that?" Astarion questioned, leaning over the wizard's shoulder.
"I picked it up during our travels. It's not like I'd tell you, knowing your inclination."
"It's not like I'd eat it," Astarion teased, nodding at the tattoo peeking above Gale's collar.
"Sending stones don't have enough magic to- you know what? Nevermind. I'm above such quarrels with you."
"What? You don't want to fight over a rock?"
"This is not a rock! It is a-"
"Gale! The message. Please." I sucked in a deep breath as both men fell quiet.
"Yes, yes. Right away."
YOU ARE READING
These Cursed Hands (Touch Me With)
Fanfiction"I thought you might like it," I spoke so softly I worried the wind had carried my words away, but Astarion faced me, one eyebrow quirked in curiosity. My gaze flickered over to him, then swiftly away. "You do like it, don't you?" "Yes, I do." T...
