When he left her, she collected her broken pieces of heart and secured it in the walls so high and deep that she thinks now, noone can tear down.
He is ready to bring those walls down and fix those pieces even if it means he bleeds in the process...
Numbness Pain Agony Emptiness These are some of the surface emotions that i am feeling right now, and i cant even explain and name the other emotions that are roaring inside me. Demading and clawing my insides for coming out but i am supressing them as i dont want to have a breakdown session infront of aarav. I thought i forgot the feeling of these emotions since i am not in that dark phase of my life anymore but oh, how wrong i was.
The car ride is silent with him glancing me every now and then. His face is tensed with jaw clenched and eyebrows set in a way that makes him look like he want to kill everyone that comes on his path, knuckles turned white from strangling the steering wheel like he is thinking of murdering someone. Rage and tension is dripping from his every molecule of being and its so much that i can feel it in the air which is suffocating me so i opened the window and let the cool air touch my face.
I closed my eyes in hopes of calming my mind but i am sucked into the dark corners of my subconcious that i had tucked away from my reach for a long time. Its a dark place which is filled with demons and monsters from a certain phase of my life that i dont like to think about. I always end up screaming and crying in here with no one to listen and help me but its been a long time since i entered and cornered here.
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My muscles become stiff and senses lost connections from the outside world. I am standing in the kitchen of my home though its not a home because home is where you are loved by people living with you, but all i get is their hatred, torture and beatings when they want to. 'They' are none other than my parents- rajveer singh and shreya singh, who only brought me into this world to be their personal punching bag.
All my childhood growing up i always questined myself that All parents love their children and care for them so why my parents hate me, why they dont like to see my face like they are disgusted by the mere sight of me. Am i not worthy of their love, dont i deserve happiness. My innocene was snatched from me mentally and physically which is a another dark chapter of my life that i would rather not go into as coming out from that one results me into hospital.
My sufferening existence was because of My mother who cheated on my father with his best friend resulting her pregnancy. My dad was escatic to know that she was pregnant thinking the child was his but later he caught her talking to his best friend on the phone and saying that she was pregnant with his child. He loved her so much and he was devasted to know the fact, so he thought to divorce her. My father is a famous businessman with a massive fortune so my mother being a gold digger she is, couldnt bear to lose the money and power that comes from being his wife so she blackmailed him with something that i still dont know and he had to live with her and me.
While my mother hated me because she thinks the cause of father's hatred towards her is me and also i am the reason that she lost her happiness, my father's hatred towards me was justified because no man would love another man's child from his wife whom he loved, roaming in front of him. A maid took care of me when i was little whom i called 'nana', she would feed me, bathe me and would literally do all the work that my mother should have done. She loved me like a mother and considered me her own child. I also loved her so much that i basically i grew up in her shadow upto age 5. When my mother saw nana and my bond, she fired her and made me a maid instead. So, i grew up and became mature before age and time.
