14 - Embarrassed

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Sunday, October 31st:

"Now, I don't remember promising," Josh said, clearly trying to get out of playing a song for Tyler. The younger boy just shook his head, a smile on his face.

"Can't back out now. I'm here, you're here, your drums are here. You're fully equipped to play me something," he pointed out.

Josh looked at him a moment, and Tyler wondered if he was wracking his brain for excuses, before he just sighed.

"Fine. But I'll have to play kind of quietly."

Tyler cheered, excited as Josh sat down on the stool in front of his drums, picking up his sticks. He watched Josh take a breath, contemplating what to play.

"I'm just gonna show you a beat I've been working on," Josh told him, and Tyler nodded, excited. When he started to play, it was like Tyler fell in love all over again. Watching Josh doing something he loved, with pure happiness and concentration on his face, was something to behold. It made Tyler feel like he couldn't breathe, too overcome by the sight in front of him, too focused on watching Josh intently.

When he stopped playing, Tyler stared at him a moment, his mind screaming at him to do something. It took everything in his power to not lean over and kiss Josh at that moment. Instead, he smiled, clapping excitedly.

"That was amazing!" Tyler exclaimed. "You really have gotten better. Which, you were still fantastic back in eighth grade, so that's saying something."

He watched Josh's face darken at the compliment, which made his heart do backflips. He was giddy at the knowledge that he could make Josh blush.

"Thanks," Josh muttered bashfully, obviously not having received enough compliments in his lifetime, which hurt Tyler's heart to think about. The boy deserved all the compliments in the world.

"Seriously, that was really incredible, Josh." Tyler gave Josh a genuine smile, and Josh returned it, looking grateful for Tyler, which made the other boy's brain foggy at the thought that Josh was grateful for him. They were best friends, sure, so it was a given, but Tyler still got giddy at the fact that they had become so close.

"So," Josh started after a few moments, "what do you wanna do?"

Tyler shrugged. "We could go for a walk or watch a movie or something."

"How about a walk?"

That's how the two ended up walking over to a nearby park, watching the little kids running around in their costumes, going door to door and laughing and eating candy. Both of them sat on the swings, content smiles on their faces.

"Tyler?" Josh asked, speaking into the comfortable silence between them.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for inviting me out tonight," he said, turning to face Tyler, who was already looking at him.

Tyler gave him a smile. "Of course. Sorry the party was so lame."

"Nah, it's fine. I didn't expect much more from Maxx," Josh joked, making Tyler snicker.

"That's fair."

They were silent for a moment, Tyler enjoying the cool night air that hinted at a possibility of snow. He looked up at the sky, seeing some stars peek through the clouds. He was thinking about how he and Josh had grown so close in such a short time, and the thought made him smile.

"Thanks for giving me a second chance," he spoke out, still facing the sky, feeling Josh's eyes on him.

"Well, you didn't really do anything wrong the first time around," Josh admitted with a light laugh. Tyler looked over, seeing him smiling slightly. "Thanks for giving me a chance to reevaluate."

"I'm glad I did," Tyler said with a smile, one Josh returned. They looked at each other for a few moments. His eyes inadvertently flicked down to Josh's lips, then quickly back up to his eyes. He felt himself lean in, and he could have sworn Josh was, too.

And then Josh cleared his throat, looking away, and Tyler felt his face go red. Actually, he felt as though his whole body was burning with embarrassment.

"Um, we should probably get back," Josh suggested. "I can drive you home."

Tyler nodded. "Sounds good," he peeped out, not looking at Josh, greatly humiliated and hoping, praying that somehow Josh didn't notice what happened. That he didn't notice that Tyler was about to kiss him.

They didn't speak on the way home, and Tyler wondered if Josh felt nearly as uncomfortable as he did. He just wanted to run away. He debated walking home, and would have suggested doing so, if it wasn't so far.

They climbed in Josh's car, and music played lightly in the background, though Tyler wasn't focused on it. He was staring out the window, trying to collect his thoughts.

The two arrived at Tyler's house shortly after. Josh had been humming along to the music, and Tyler couldn't tell if he was oblivious or doing it out of awkwardness. Before he got out, he sighed, turning to Josh.

"I'm sorry," he muttered, looking down at his hands, which he was fiddling with in his lap.

"For what?" Josh questioned. Tyler looked at him, trying to see if he was kidding or something, but he seemed genuinely curious. Tyler opened his mouth to say, "For almost kissing you," but decided against it. If Josh was really that oblivious, Tyler wouldn't say another word about it.

"Uh, for dragging you out tonight," he fabricated. Josh shook his head.

"Don't worry about it! Like I said, I had a good time. I'm glad I got to spend tonight with you, Tyler," he said genuinely, and Tyler couldn't help the small smile that came onto his face, despite feeling otherwise still embarrassed and awful.

"I'm glad I got to spend tonight with you, too."

With that, Tyler got out of the car, saying a quick goodbye to Josh before heading into his house. He wasn't that keen on going back, but he figured he had to. When he got home, he quickly ran up to his room, shutting his door behind him. He just hoped that his parents wouldn't bother him at all, and he could think about the night in peace.

Tyler ran his hands through his hair, a long sigh escaping his lips. He couldn't believe he'd really almost kissed Josh. Josh, the boy who most definitely didn't feel the same. He'd just warmed up to Tyler; why in the world would he develop feelings for him?

Tyler shook any remaining hope that Josh could possibly feel the same from his mind and, deciding to stop thinking about it, in fear of crying, he looked down at his phone. He had about a million missed calls from Maxx, along with a couple hundred texts.

Okay, maybe that was an overstatement, but he was still spammed.

'Where'd you go?'

'Tylerrrr, answer me!'

'Respond.'

'Ugh, you're just fucking ditching me again for that loser, aren't you?'

'Fine. I'll see you at school tomorrow, I guess.'

Those were only a few, and Tyler scrolled through them quickly, a groan of annoyance escaping his lips as he let himself fall back onto his bed, his hands over his face. He knew Maxx was drunk and probably wouldn't remember sending any of those texts, but he was annoyed. Annoyed that he would call Josh that, annoyed that he was even friends with the blue-haired boy, because he truly was a mess.

He debated texting Josh and warning him that Maxx was upset and might go after him at school the next day, but decided against it. Tyler reasoned that Josh probably didn't want to hear from him after spending the whole entire night with him.

Tyler changed out of his costume and climbed into bed, feeling discontent, to say the least. He just hoped things wouldn't be weird between him and Josh the next day. 

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