𝐖𝐡𝐢𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐎𝐟 𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞 - 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐨 𝐑𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐒𝐡𝐞'𝐬 𝐖𝐡𝐲 [36]

𝙼𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚘 𝚁𝚒𝚍𝚍𝚕𝚎'𝚜 𝙿𝙾𝚅

☞ 𝐒𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐲, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟏𝟐𝐭𝐡 𝐨𝐟 𝐍𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫, 𝟏𝟗𝟗𝟔

Something has been bugging her. I could see it in her eyes how she glanced uncomfortably around the room as we all awoke at the crack of dawn for breakfast. Maybe the realisation of her circumstances has finally set it, and she's regretting her decision to stay with us. Perhaps she doesn't feel comfortable sleeping in a room with a bunch of men?

"Hey guys." Y/n smiled as she left our dormitory's bathroom, now fully dressed in her uniform. We each greeted her back, slowly getting dressed and packing our bags. She looked nervous again, her face wasn't as bright, and her posture was more closed off. As Y/n slowly packed her bag for the day, I watched her intensely. Every small step she took around her bed frame, every time her skirt rode up when picking up a book, every flick of her wrist as she gently held her books.

"I-" Y/n spoke, her voice breaking. Surprised, I looked up from tying my laces to be met with her beautiful face stuck in an apprehensive state. Blaise, Theo and Draco also heard her attempt to speak, and we waited for her to continue. "I wish to speak with you all." Y/n finally got out.

"What about, Snape?" Draco gave a lopsided smile as he leaned against his bed frame. We all watched as she looked down at her feet, unable to say much more. I knew it, she hated it here. One night and she wants to leave.

"Why did you all suddenly change your mind about me?" Y/n muttered, taking us all by surprise. Bewildered, we struggled to say anything. It was strange to see us so... lost. The confident, egotistical, charming boys we used to be died this year. We are all a shell of our former, respective, selves. In that case, maybe it isn't that strange that we respond to things differently.

"Why did you treat me like I was nothing after we shared so many memories together!" Y/n began to cry as small drops escaped from her glassy eyes. "It was confusing, it was painful, I don't want to go through that again." She added, her voice slowly growing quieter. "I don't-" a sob sounded from her pink lips. The sight of her so heartbroken ripped a hole right through me. I felt my hand tingling and my heart shaking.

"I missed you!" She yelled out, now sobbing uncontrollably beside her bed. We quickly rose to our feet, shocked by her sudden outburst. We silently watched as she began to calm herself, I felt horrible that I couldn't help her. This is unfamiliar, I don't know how to handle this. What's the best move to time?

Theo seemed to find his feet first, stepping forward and pulling the girl into a hug. "We got.. scared, to say the least. We acted rashly, thinking that we didn't need someone in our lives who actually cared. It's rather pathetic, we've realised this. We needed you, some in more ways than one." Theo spoke heartedly, then smirking at me as he spoke the latter words. I glared at the boy.

"What he's trying to say is, that we behaved poorly and hurt you deeply and we are trying our best to show you how deeply sorry we are in the ways we know how. It's not common for purebloods to teach their children the act of apologies and forgiveness." Blaise stepped in, throwing his arms around Theo and Y/n. He smiled at the pair, leaning down into their embraces.

"Yeah, what he said." Draco added, joining the group by Theo's side. "I'm- I'm sorry." He added, avoiding looking at Y/n as he spoke. I sighed, picking myself up and walking over to the group. Y/n eyes found mine, while I never looked away from her eyes.

My arm snaked around her waist, while I threw my other arm over Draco's shoulder. I smiled, pouring all of my happiness into that smile. I felt my hand shaking and my heart tingling. "I'm sorry, Y/n. Life without you was loving a life without warmth."

Suddenly, like flowers bursting into bloom, she smiled a toothy grin. My heart erupted with flames of joy, seeing her finally smile, it's like for the first time since school began back in September, I could breathe. "Thank you, guys. This means the world to me." She giggled, pulling us all in. This felt right. This felt safe. This felt warm.

Not long after, Y/n had to leave to meet with Granger for breakfast. The rest of us stayed behind while we waited for Theo to get ready. However, my mind began to flood with pain and anguish. My thoughts flooded in a mile a minute. A lie. It's all a lie. He made us. He made us stay away. We weren't scared. We didn't make a lapse in judgment. He ordered me to stay away. Why are we doing this? Why listen to him?

Danger. This is dangerous. For us, for her. We are risking a lot... risking our lives! For what? I can't do this... yet I cannot disobey him... not again... I can't go through it all again. My mind throbbed with anxiety. Like a sunbeam breaking through a black cloud, I remembered her smile as she locked eyes with me, flooding my mind with light that calmed me within an instant. She's why.

"Chin up, Mattheo. Stop worrying about things out of your reach." Draco spoke, placing a hand on my shoulder, in an effort to soothe my rushing thoughts. I jumped out of my thoughts and found myself in the great hall. I sighed, knowing there was truth behind those words.

"He has got a point, mate." Blaise chipped in, his mouth full of potatoes. I decided to give it a rest and focus on my breakfast. The smell of this food was suddenly nauseous, unable to stomach the thought of a full English breakfast.

"Who has a point?" An annoying voice came from behind me, a curious yet agitated voice. Harmoniously, we all groaned as Pansy and Astoria took a seat on either side of me, Pansy even went out of her way to shove Draco away.

"None of your concern." Draco grumbled angrily, however, Pansy chose not to acknowledge the boy's answer. The two girls were now facing me, or rather goggling at me. Their hair was curled, I believe they did something new with their makeup which was ghastly as their faces now didn't match their necks, and their shirts weren't fully buttoned up. I glanced at my friends for help, but they were too gobsmacked to say anything.

"Say, Mattheo. Who are you taking to the Ravenclaw party?" Astoria smiled, battering her eyelashes at me. As much as I used to respect the girl, that respect was fading quickly with each passing day Pugface rots her soul.

"No one, and I doubt any of us will be attending. We have things that need our attention." I bluntly stated, jabbing at the sausages on my plate. Pansy and Astoria seemed disheartened by my words, most likely uncomfortable at the mention of our duties to our families.

"Why are you interested?" Theo spoke up, his eyebrows furrowed. Pansy and Astoria's faces morphed into shock and embarrassment as they began to stutter out poor excuses for their behaviour.

Astoria was the first to say something remotely coherent. "We are friends and wanted to know if we would be attending with all of you." She and Pansy babbled on, drawing out a mixture of reactions such as eye rolls, sighs and glares.

"Just admit you wanted to ask Mattheo out, and maybe get to shag him." Blaise spoke monotoned, seemingly over the situation at hand. I glared at him, scolding him for making up ridiculous things. However, the sheepish look in the two girls' eyes told me everything I needed to know.

"I'd rather fuck a basilisk than ever spend an evening with either of you. The sheer audacity you pair have to even think of me in such ways after the amount of skin-ripping pain you caused me." I venomously spat, making sure to keep my voice down. Astoria's eyes widened with fear as she tried to back away from me. Pansy grew furious at my words.

"Stop acting so entitled, Riddle. We did what we had to do to protect our mission! Besides, you shouldn't forget who you are! We would be great together, Mattheo, our parents would approve. I'd be able to give you pure children unlike the filthy halfbreed ones Snape would give you!" Pansy spoke confidently and loudly, taking my moment of silence as proof of victory.

Slap

The back of my hand collided with her cheek as though it was second nature. I'm not sure what possessed me to do so, but my anger was bubbling up and took control when Y/n was brought into this. "I don't give a fuck about you, Parkinson. Don't you dare tell me not to forget who I am when you've clearly forgotten who you are. You are a Parkinson, you are beneath me and everyone in this group, and this mission doesn't involve you. You are the only one here who isn't a death eater." Despite my brain itching to cause I scene, I left. I didn't look back. I hated what I did, yet I couldn't regret what I said.