While You're Here

18

November came and went so quickly I might have dreamt it.

As tests and assignments piled up—for me as well as my friends—there was little time left for anything else. When I wasn't busy with school, I was looking for new ways to promote my shop and finish the few orders I had. If I wasn't doing any of that, I was probably sleeping. Other than Erica and Ren, whom I saw on a daily basis, I hardly saw anyone else. Even Sage, who almost always worked the same shifts I did, seemed to disappear completely.

When December arrived, bringing with it a load of exams and final assignments, campus seemed to die and come to life simultaneously. Study spaces started filling up the moment doors opened and remained packed until long after the sun had gone down. Combined with the first snowfalls of the season and the less than ideal weather, things were starting to feel rather bleak around here.

It was only when I walked out of my philosophy exam—my last one for the semester—that I felt like I could breathe easy again. Snowflakes fell from the sky, melting the instant they touched the wet ground. I tilted my head back, breathed in the brisk December air, and let my shoulders sag with relief. Fall semester was over and winter break—for me, at least—had begun.

For my friends, it would be a few more days before they could join me in celebrating the end of another exam season. Erika, I knew, had her penultimate exam tomorrow and was holed up in her room studying. I figured she could use a little pick-me-up, so I went right to the kitchen to make us some tea when I got home.

While I waited for the water to boil, I picked out two tea packets—chamomile for her, earl grey for me. I smiled to myself as I placed them on the counter, thinking of Wesley. It was him who convinced me to try early grey and, to my delight, I liked it. It was far from my favourite flavour, but drinking it made me feel closer to him.

We had plans to go skating tonight and I could barely contain my excitement. This would be the first time in weeks we'd be seeing each other. We texted almost every day, usually about silly updates in our lives, but I still missed him. A lot.

The kettle whistled, pulling me from my thoughts. I poured the water into two mugs and added a splash of milk to Erica's. She wouldn't drink it any other way.

"I have something for you," I sang as I entered her room. Erika looked up from the mess of papers on her desk and gasped.

"Chamomile?" I nodded. "With a splash of milk?"

I rolled my eyes, handing her the mug. "Do you even have to ask?"

She took a sip, closed her eyes, and hummed. "How is it you know exactly what I need before I do?"

"That's a secret I'll never tell." I took a seat on the edge of her bed, cradling the warm mug in my hands. "How's studying going?"

"I think my brain is ready to explode," she admitted, shuffling papers around to make room for her tea. "There is so much information and it's both so interesting and so boring."

I laughed. Was there a better way to sum up how most of us felt about our programs?

"You'll do amazing. You always do."

She scribbled something on a sheet of paper. "How about you? How was your exam?"

"Good, I think." Philosophy was one of my favourite subjects to take for an elective. The exam itself was so-so. I knew I probably could have done better, but I also could have done much, much worse. "I don't know. Now that I'm done, I'm not worried."

That was how it always went. I stressed over exams while they loomed over me like a thundercloud, but once I finished them, I barely spared them a second thought. I didn't lie awake at night wondering if my work was good enough. That was something for future me to worry about when grades were released.