Built on smoke and mirrors

Chapter 31

My talent isn't natural. It was taken, given to my mother and I inherited it. The thought that I took someone's talent makes me sick to my stomach. Someone trained all their youth only to give it up unknowingly. Somone like Eydis. My fingernails dig into my hands as I walk down the road. I am just as much a monster as these Motherwealth people.

I am a fraud. A sham. A liar. Skating isn't mine to perfect. It was never mine.

The thing that was my personality, the thing that made me happy. It will never again bring me joy.

I have to get out of here. I am not one of them. I don't belong here. This is not my home.

"Telvi!" Kol shouts after me.

I don't stop walking down the sidewalk.

If I didn't have skating, what was I? Did I have any worth? Without skating I am just a shell. A nothing. But I guess I was always that.

"Telvi, wait!"

"You should wait for him," Ezra says, reminding me that he is following.

I glare at him. I asked him if he wanted to come find my bother. I never thought he would come this far. If fact, I don't want him to be here anymore. His usefulness is complete. He was just like all of these people. People that I don't want to be associated with.

"Walter, can't you leave me alone?" I snap at him.

He flinches back, stopping in his tracks.

"You did what you promised you would do. Why are you still here? I don't want you around, Ezra."

As far as I am concerned, he is just as part of this messed up system as I am. I can't have him to constantly remind me of that. I want to forget about him and myself. Maybe then it will be less painful.

He frowns as Kol catches up to us with a huff.

He opens his mouth then shuts it, waiting for me to say something, anything. But I am not. I am not going to say anything. I don't want him nearby. "Fine. If you don't want me around, you could have just said." He lifts his hands. "Good luck getting back home, Telvi." There is spite in his tone.

I frown as I watch him walk down a road with his hands in his pockets. He walks slowly, avoiding the potholes in his path. He probably wants me to call him back, but I make no attempt to do so. I don't need him. I don't want him. He doesn't belong in the Commonwealth and I don't belong here.

"What did you do, Telvi?" Kol accuses of like I am a child.

I shrug, looking him straight in the eye. "I didn't need him."

"Maybe that is the case, but Telvi, that was just rude. You know better."

"I don't need a lecture," I hiss. I have enough on my mind. I don't need Kol to add anymore to it. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be in this state. If it wasn't for him, I would have not even come to the Motherwealth. This is his fault.

He takes a step back. "Alright. Have it your way. But where are you going?"

"Home. This place is not for me. I cannot be one of them. We don't belong here, Kol."

He frowns. He bites his lip in silence. It is enough to cause me to whimper. He wants to stay. It is written all over his face. He doesn't want to go back with me. A tear falls down my cheek.

"But maybe we do. Maybe we could make this place better."

There is nothing we can do. This place is too flawed for repair. It is such a foolish thing to even think. Not to mention there is a war here. It isn't safe.